


Make Changkyun Stay

by VerifiedFangurlXX



Series: a perfect family [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV), Nubility
Genre: How Do I Tag, I love them so much, Other, PROTECT CHANGKYUN AT ALL COST, What am I doing, a lil bit of violence, but its there, im sorry, it hurts, like one scene, not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 23:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 30,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8867341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerifiedFangurlXX/pseuds/VerifiedFangurlXX
Summary: In which Changkyun's former group, Nubility, wants him back, and he thinks that his members hate him. And it's up to his members to make him stay





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, there's four members in Nu'bility, other than Changkyun.  
> They are:  
> 1) Taehyuk (leader, vocalist)  
> 2) Byunghwa (vocalist)  
> 3) Jeongwook (main vocalist)  
> 4) Jongyeon (maknae)  
> p.s : Changkyun is younger than all of them except Jongyeon  
> also, this was originally posted on wattpad :)

The ride back to the dorm was horrible. 

Though, not as bad as how terrible Changkyun felt when his name got called out just an hour ago. He felt as if there was a monster at the very bottom of his stomach, eating him inside out with guilt. Guilt of having stolen away someone else's spot. 

Every time the corner of his lips rose with the happiness of debuting, the grin would evaporate away when he remembered his six other members despised his presence.

The nine boys sat in silence as the surroundings outside passed by them in a blur. Looking out of the window of the van, Gunhee finally broke the silence. "I can't believe I'm not debuting." He said with a bitter laugh. 

Changkyun flinched. 

He knew it was indirectly meant for him. If he wasn't in the survival show at all, Gunhee would definitely had debuted. 

He stayed silent, looking out of the window himself, though he was focusing on the conversation at hand and not the scenery outside. Subconsciously, his hands tightened their grip on his jacket and he tried to keep his poker face intact.

"I know." Jooheon, who had finally calmed down from his crying fit, replied. 

Although Changkyun was used to their attitudes towards him, it still hurt him to the core. He slid back further into his seat uncomfortably, softly letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

The tension in his body remained, even when the vehicle pulled up in the parking lot. The boys made their way up into their dorm, with Changkyun trailing wordlessly behind.

He slowly packed his belongings, overhearing Jooheon's sobs coming back from the other room. 

The dorm was silent, after Changkyun overheard Gunhee's promise to visit Jooheon frequently.

 _They were probably hating on me,_ Changkyun failed to stop his mind from having such thoughts. _They were probably saying about how if I wasn't here, at least Gunhee or Seokwon would have debuted._

He understood, though. If he were them, he would have disliked the new guy too. 

But just because he understood, doesn't mean it hurt less.

\---

After a moment of many deep breathes which failed to calm his nerves, Changkyun felt the need to take a walk. It wasn't like he was running away from his problems and fears. He was just taking a temporary break. At least, that's what he tried to convince himself.

When he stepped out of the room, he was greeted by the scene of Gunhee and Seokwon preparing to leave. They hugged each and everyone of the boys, except for Changkyun.

And they left, without so much as a second glance towards the figure at the corner.

Changkyun took a deep breath to try to calm his shaky self, before approaching the door where everyone were at. He noticed their eyebrows raise. 

"I... I'm going out for awhile." He mumbled before putting on his shoes and walking out. He didn't stay for the others to bash and blame him for what he had done. It wasn't like he wasn't aware of what he had done, anyway.

\-----

It was cold out. 

The air was frozen lace on his skin, delicate and cold. His breath hung in the air like slow moving clouds, and he subconsciously pulled his only layer of clothing tighter to his skin.

Changkyun had forgotten to bring along his jacket. Despite shivering and wobbling like a penguin, he wasn't going to go back to take it. 

He didn't want to face his members. Or, the people who he had to work with. They weren't even close to the kind of relationship where he could proudly announce them as his members. So they were just his working partners. 

Not that Changkyun had any complaints.

And so he walked, and walked, without any directions, his arms hugging his torso as he braced the cold.

He didn't realize where he was going until he found himself in a park. Even then, he continued walking, trying his best to ignore the soft breeze blowing onto him, as if mocking him.

Teeth chattering, his mind was flooded with thoughts.

Negative ones.

The boy had wandered into the playground area, before finally noticing how tired and numb his legs were. The swing let out a loud creaking caused by Changkyun sitting heavily on it, before he sighed in despair, making an instant soft puff of cloud.

Maybe he had been keeping in his feelings for too long and overthinking as usual, for he suddenly felt everything crashing down. It was as if the heaviness of the situation had just weighted itself on him. 

Before he knew it, he was blinking back tears, willing them to go away when he felt a pair of arms embracing him from behind. He instinctively leaned back in an instant, soaking himself into the warmth of the person. 

"Shhh, it's okay." The person said. And that was all it took, for Changkyun to finally burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs as he broke down after weeks of holding it in.

**************

"Changkyun." The said person only cried harder as he pressed his face farther into the person's chest. It was an uncomfortable position, as the person was standing behind him, but it was okay. 

He didn't care.

Tears rolled down his cheeks endlessly, and the fabric of the clothes the person was wearing soaked it all up. He released his emotions that he had kept in for a long time, as he tightened his grip on the shirt of the person. He knew exactly who it was, and the fact that he had not seen him in a long time made his tears even more uncontrollable. 

Jeongwook tried to shift his position so that Changkyun would be even more comfortable, but the younger held him tightly. 

"Are... are you okay?" Jeongwook felt stupid once the question left his lips. Of course the rapper wasn't okay. He was crying his eyes out, for goodness sake. 

"Ye..yea." The younger hiccuped. The singer's heart soared as he held Changkyun in his arms. 

He loved the younger for being strong, but hated him for being so strong that he didn't let himself fall sometimes. 

"You stubborn brat." He muttered, stroking the rapper's hair while his comment made the younger giggle despite still crying. His favorite hyung was here and he was grateful, but also hated himself for letting the older see him in such a sorry state.

Minutes later, they were seated on the top of the slide. Changkyun was sitting in between his hyung's legs as they somehow fit on the slide made for kids. 

He missed his hyung's insults that actually showed his care for the younger. They sat in a comfortable silence, Changkyun gaining warmth from his former member's jacket. Jeongwook had forced him to wear it when he noticed the younger shivering. 

The silence was broken when Jeongwook finally said what had been bothering him since he had watched episode 8 of No.MERCY. "How could they be so mean to you?" 

Changkyun didn't even think about it. "They... they worked so hard and I just popped out of nowhere, free riding on their hard work. And now I'm debuting. Joo...Jooheon hyung wanted so badly to debut with Gunhee and I...I just stole his spot." Changkyun hiccuped, another tear trickling down his cheeks.

Changkyun didn't know how, as it was so dark and everything, but Jeongwook noticed the tear. He leaned forward to hug the younger. "Even then, what they are doing is despicable. Gunhee was good. He really was. But he wasn't selected. You were." 

Changkyun drowned himself in disbelief. He merely stared at the moon. 

Jeongwook knew it too. He knew the rapper all too well. 

"Changkyun ah... there is a reason why you were chosen, okay? Why else would they want you to debut?" 

But Changkyun's gaze remained on the sky. 

Jeongwook reached for his chin, making the rapper look at him in the eye. "You. Are. Worth. It." The elder spoke slowly, as if the speed would help in making Changkyun understand.

They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments.

"Jeez, hyung, since when were you so cheesy?"

And that was how Changkyun earned a kick and ended up flying down the slide.

\------

"Erm, I'm so sorry." Jeongwook stated, watching the younger rub his backside painfully. 

"Hyung! It hurts so much!" Changkyun whined. 

"Want me to message it for ya?" The elder smirked. 

"Ew, no thanks."

The duo were walking together back to the younger's dorm. Jeongwook had insisted on walking him back, despite it being so late already. They walked in a comfortable silence, both appreciating the presence of each other.

Being the childish kid that he was, Changkyun entered swiftly into the lift and jabbed the button to close the door, before Jeongwook had entered.

"Aish, this kid, really!" Jeongwook cursed as his shoulder made contact with the closing doors, causing the doors to reopen fully for him to step inside.

"One day, I swear I'm going to whoop you."

"You say that every time, hyung."

"Brat."

The butterflies were starting to reappear in the younger's stomach, as they approached the door of the dorm. They hugged tightly, Changkyun wishing the older wouldn't leave him. Jeongwook seemed to know it too, as he enveloped the rapper just as tightly, if not even tighter and reassured the younger. 

"I'll visit you together with the guys. We could grab coffee or something."

Changkyun nodded. He wanted to tell Jeongwook that he was going to be busy as they would have to start preparing for their debut already, but his words died at his throat when he realized Jeongwook was starting to release his grip. 

"Wait...Just for awhile." That was the only words he could mutter, his voice breaking at the end.

Jeongwook's heart shattered as he embraced the scared rapper once more. "We will always be here for you, you know." Changkyun nodded against the hard chest of his hyung. 

They stayed in that position for five whole minutes, just relaxing against the warmth of each other. When Changkyun had finally regained his composure, they let go and faced each other. "We'll keep in contact." Jeongwook reassured the younger once more. 

Changkyun nodded.

He watched as his source of comfort retreated and entered the lift, and kept staring until the lift doors closed. He exhaled his breath, before preparing himself for the worst as he opened the door slowly.

"Where did you go?" Wonho asked once he spotted the youngest entering. Changkyun was confused at the sight of his tallest hyung and Wonho lying lazily on the couch as if they had stayed up for him. 

"I...I went out for a walk." Changkyun barely answered as he took off his shoes and made his way past the couch. 

"In case you were wondering, Hyungwon and I were not waiting for you. Why would we?" Wonho quickly added with a nervous laugh. 

Changkyun paused. His back was facing them. 

He nodded calmly, though he felt like he was cut to the core, as he answered as monotonously as possible, "I didn't think of that." And he stalked off to the room where his belongings were.

He didn't notice Hyungwon shoving the elder off the couch, with exaggerated movements with his hand as he blamed Wonho for sounding so harsh.

Changkyun entered the room where he heard noises coming from. The talking stopped when he entered though and Changkyun knew right then, they were talking about him. "Ah, Changkyun, we moved your belongings to the other room. You would be sharing that room with Wonho and Jooheon." Shownu told him nonchalantly 

"Okay." Changkyun was about to walk to the other room right away when he heard Kihyun ask, "Where did you go to? It's so late." 

"I went to a park." 

"At this time?"

Changkyun nodded.

"Why?"

"Just because."

And he walked away. He noticed his belongings on the top bunk of the bed on the right. The one below on the left must be Jooheon's, as it was filled with many, many hats. Changkyun flopped onto his bed and sighed. He was pretty tired from the breakdown just now and so, without even repacking his stuff, he fell asleep right on top of all his clothes and belongings.

***********

Dance practice was horrible. Changkyun didn't know how he would survive more years in the dance room with the other members. It all began when the instructor showed them their very own debut song. 

Excitement grew in the boys when they started bobbing their heads to the addictive beat of the song. They grinned at each other, while the instructor clapped her hands and the dance practice began. 

Well, they all grinned at each other, except for the youngest member who directed his smile to the floor.

The instructor guided them through the moves, before beginning to teach the individual parts to each member.

Changkyun watched from the side, getting slightly envious at how Hyungwon was getting the moves so quickly and easily.

He made a mental note to ask the tall male how he did that, when they become to be on talking terms.

If they do.

He tried not to take notice of the other members practicing the chorus together while he stood at the corner of the room, staring at his own reflection in the mirror.

Alone.

\---

"Changkyun, you're doing the steps wrong!" Hyungwon snaps in anger for the fourth time. He stomped over and sat down heavily with a huff. 

"Hyungwon, calm down." Wonho panted, reaching over to the tallest and grabbing his arm in a pathetic attempt to calm the tallest down with his 'aegyo' when he was panting. 

Shownu wordlessly went to stop the music, and the overly silent background made the atmosphere even more tensed.

Jooheon would have commented on his hyung's aegyo-less ass if he weren't as pissed off as Hyungwon. He shot a deathly glare at Changkyun who just stood at his original position, head hung low as Hyungwon's words penetrated through his mind.

"But we can't even complete through the entire song without Changkyun f*cking it up for all of us!" Hyungwon's eyes blazed with anger. 

He was usually the calm, sleepyhead in the group so everyone knew it was because he was lacking his beauty sleep that he was so angry and using curse words. 

It was already past midnight, after all. 

But it was also no reason to blame the youngest for everything.

"Hyungwon, your moves aren't all that good, either." Kihyun fired, slipping his arm around the shaking maknae. 

He noticed the lanky figure and Changkyun freeze, Hyungwon in shock that the shortest had just insulted him and Changkyun not used to the sudden skinship.

"Let's just all head back." Shownu finally spoke. 

Fortunately, the members listened to his instruction and Shownu switched the lights off once they were all out.

************

It was not long before the bell rang.

Just moments before, while the members were having breakfast, Changkyun's former member had called him and told him he was coming over and Changkyun had grinned, agreeing, until his smile disappeared later when he realized he hadn't asked the manager for permission.

Luckily for him, the group didn't have any schedules for the day and Jeongwook's sudden visit was allowed.

"I'll get it." Changkyun muttered, shuffling to get to the door when he was actually really excited to see his hyung. He just wasn't sure if his favorite hyung will get along well with his cold members.

After the door to the room banged shut, the members stared at each other in bewilderment. "He... he has dimples?" Wonho managed out, looking amazed.

"I've never seen them before." Shownu stated, looking at the others for confirmation.

"Me neither." Kihyun and Hyungwon backed the eldest up.

"Damn, I thought I was the only one with cute dimples." Jooheon jokingly said, earning a soft chuckle from Minhyuk when Kihyun pointed at his eye dimples and smacked the rapper when Jooheon frowned and said, "Kihyun hyung, your dimples aren't cute."

\----------

Changkyun awkwardly stood at the door after introducing his former members, not knowing what to expect from the situation. 

The silence that he got, as an reply, wasn't helping either. 

When he decided that the tension was too much and he needed a short break, he excused himself by announcing that he was going to the bathroom.

With the person who led them to meet each other gone, both Nubility and Monsta X members were equally awkward.

Jongyeon was leaning against Jeongwook, Wonho fingering the loose thread on Hyungwon's shirt, Hyungwon trying to swat Wonho's hands away, Shownu staring at the ground, Minhyuk and Jooheon scrutinizing the Nubility members, Kihyun playing with his fingers.

The silence was broken by a sudden pounding of the door from the other room - the bathroom.

"Is there anyone?! Help!"

All ten of them stared at each other in shock, not contemplating what was happening.

"Changkyun." Jeongwook muttered in realization. "Changkyun!" 

With that, the Nubility member rushed out of the room, followed by the others.

\-------

Changkyun had just entered the room when he heard a click. He turned towards the door. Wait-the door? He rushed to it, trying to turn the knob. 

It wouldn't bulge. 

Someone had locked it from outside. Or the door was faulty. 

Either way, he was stuck. He fumbled with the knob some more, hoping it would magically open.

It didn't.

He took a deep breath. "Open sesame!" He gestured wildly at the door.

It still didn't open.

He finally pounded on the door desperately, yelling out, "Is anyone there? help!"

That was when he heard a voice.

_"Look, it's the new guy."_

"No, not now." He clasped his hands on his ears, releasing a sharp intake of oxygen. He crouched down and began to back away from the door.

_"The one who was promised to debut?"_

He saw the silhouette of them, menacingly approaching him. He retreated until his back was pressed against the cold wall, and somehow slotted himself beside the toilet.

He could feel his pulse thundering in his ears. His tears were mixing into his sweat as he gasped for air. He shook violently. 

"No, not now. Please." He begged.

\--------

The Monsta X members followed after Jeongwook and Jongyeon in bewilderment. What was going on? The same question was etched in their mind. Jeongwook followed the sound to the bathroom and tried opening the door, but it didn't work. 

He fumbled with the door, anxiety kicking in as he realized something - Changkyun wasn't shouting or pounding at the door anymore.

"Hyung, whats happening?" Jongyeon asked him, panic in his eyes.

"I don't know, but we have to get in there quickly." Jeongwook answered with his steady gaze fixed onto the door.

"Let me help." He turned around to be met with Shownu's eyes asking him for permission.

Jeongwook nodded. Shownu began to jump, hitting the side of his muscular arms against the door repeatedly while the others watched and hoped the door would open soon. And it did, after a final kick from Shownu. "Thank you." Jeongwook said, pushing past Shownu into the room.

The others followed.

They all stared at the quivering mess on the floor, its soft sobs barely heard. They were stunned at how scared Changkyun seemed. He even looked like he was terrified of them.

Changkyun's breathing became hazard as he gasped for air. He couldn't breathe. No air was reaching his lungs. He gasped for air but none entered. His hands shot for his throat and his heartbeat accelerated. 

He couldn't see the members staring at him.

All he could see was white.

Jeongwook snapped out of his trance. He rushed to the youngest rapper and wrapped his arms around the younger. 

"It's fine now." He muttered to the younger. 

But Changkyun wasn't listening. He had blocked out all other sounds except his own breath that was raggedly moving in and out of his mouth at regular, gasping intervals. Even his gaze remained still on the wall, as he ignored everything else surrounding him.

Jeongwook pushed Changkyun's face into his chest, for the younger to listen to his steady heartbeat and hopefully mimic it. 

He waited for a few moments. 

When Changkyun's breathing finally slowed down and he seemed more collected, he carefully lifted up Changkyun bridal-style into the nearest room, into the nearest bed.

The rapper was still shaking violently while Jeongwook let him lie down fully onto the bed.

Then, Jeongwook placed the covers over Changkyun, before slipping into it himself. The others watched as he hugged the youngest tightly, Changkyun's face buried into his chest.

"It's fine now. You're alright. Changkyunnie, you're alright." Jeongwook repeated his words. And the members watched how Changkyun's breathing slowly evened out. They watched how he gradually stopped shaking, how his sobs turned into hiccups.

And shock wasn't even the word to describe how they felt right then. They were startled at how badly shaken Changkyun was, and amazed at how Jeongwook could successfully calm him down. But they all didn't notice the silhouette behind.

The person ducked down, a smirk on his face as he swiftly exited the flat through the same opened door he entered from.

******

Kihyun watched his youngest member fall into a peaceful sleep in the arms of the stranger. He couldn't help but feel a sense of protectiveness tugging at the very back of his heart.

Why? He doesn't know. But he knew he didn't particularly like the scene before his eyes. And so, he was relatively relieved when he saw Jeongwook starting to wiggle his way out of the hold of Changkyun. 

The whine made by subconscious Changkyun, however, was not appreciated by Kihyun, whose eyes narrowed.

Jeongwook finally made his way away from the bed, replacing his presence with a large baymax soft toy on Changkyun's bed. A smile tugged at Jeongwook's lips as he admired the way Changkyun snuggled against the white soft toy.

The Monsta X members' hearts swelled a little too. Not much, but a little. But sometimes, that little was enough.

\--------

The members stood at the door, watching the rise and fall of their youngest member's chest while he slept. They were all thinking back about the answer the Nubility members gave when they demanded an explanation about what happened to Changkyun.

_"To be honest, we don't know what just happened either."_

_"You don't?" Wonho had glanced up._

_"But you handled the situation well." Kihyun stated._

_"I'll take that as a compliment, thanks." Jeongwook grinned, before he got serious again._

_"It's actually the first time we saw Changkyunnie like that, right, Jong?" The Nubility maknae nodded._

_"Then why....?" Shownu finally spoke._

_"We don't know either." Jeongwook muttered, picking up his bag._

_"Wait, you're just going to leave like that? What about Changkyun?" Kihyun watched the duo preparing to exit._

_"You guys are his members for years down the road. You'll figure out." Jeongwook simply said, before going back to Minhyuk's room to give one final check on Changkyun._

_The members stared at each other silently, as they heard Jeongwook and Jongyeon exit the dorm._

*******

Changkyun woke up feeling really comfortable. 

The bed sheets felt extra soft, and he didn't want to wake up. He smiled against the pillow, before shifting his position so he was no longer head first in it. 

Feeling something soft beside him, he subconsciously wrapped his leg around it, hugging it closer to him.

"Hey!" The thing yelled.

Changkyun's eyes shot open, and he was met with the angry glare of - Kihyun. He frantically removed his legs from the shortest in the group, before repeatedly apologizing.

"Oh my god, hyung. I'm so sorry." Changkyun reached behind for his Baymax soft toy, hugging it in embarrassment.

"You brat." Kihyun muttered, shooting him one last glare before making his way off the bed and out of the room. What Changkyun didn't notice though, was a small smile tugging at Kihyun's lips.

Changkyun grinned at the retreating figure as Kihyun had reminded him of Jeongwook. Wait, Jeongwook. Changkyun's eyes widened in realization. Jeongwook was here yesterday, where is he now? He wondered. 

He sat up straight when yesterday's happenings flooded his mind. Oh god, what exactly happened? Changkyun couldn't remember everything, only some parts of him being locked in, and them appearing. He couldn't remember anything after that.

He scrambled to his feet, but ended up meeting the ground as he tripped over the bed sheets.

"Hey, are you okay?" Hyungwon was by his side in an instant. Changkyun groaned in reply as Hyungwon helped him up back onto the bed. 

"You messed up my bed!" Hyungwon accused, secretly taking note of the younger rubbing his sides.

"Your bed?" Changkyun shot out of the bed in an instant, knocking his head onto the bed frame in the process. 

"Ow!" His hand reached for his head to massage it, silently cursing at himself for all the self-inflicted pain.

Hyungwon chuckled at his clumsiness. "You're so cute!" He purposely rubbed Changkyun's swollen forehead.

"Owwwww!!" Changkyun swatted his hand away, before continuing to rub his sore head.

"Breakfast's ready!" Minhyuk entered the room. Taking in the scene before him, he spat. "How disgusting." 

Then, without waiting for any of the duo to reply, he disappeared from the door frame.

Changkyun flinched away from Hyungwon on instinct, before clearing his throat and exiting the room. 

"That jerk." Hyungwon muttered under his breath. He looked back at his bed, which was now a mess, and debated whether or not to clean it up.

"Nah, I'll sleep in it again tonight. What's the point. Anyways, Kihyun will clean it up later." Hyungwon reasoned.

He then heard a clearing of throat behind him. 

Uh oh. 

He slowly turned, kind of expecting the shortest member to be there. 

Kihyun tapped his foot impatiently. 

"Then why should I cook you food when you're going to die anyways?" He motioned towards the bed. 

The tallest gulped. 

"Changkyun and you were the ones..." He received a death glare from the main vocalist.

"Fine." He admitted defeat and stomped over to his bed while Kihyun grinned evilly. 

\-----

Changkyun made his way to the dining table and silently sat at the furthest corner, avoiding any eye contact with the members. Picking at his food, thoughts ran wild in his head. He had just realized that the members had most likely saw his behavior yesterday, and was not looking forward to their confrontation. 

At all. 

And so he was surprised when breakfast was like usual, quiet and peaceful, with no one willing to talk to him, though he could sometimes feel their gazes on him. He wasn't sure, though, since he had kept his head low the whole time.

They were just finishing up their meal when the manager walked in. The members briefly nodded in greetings, their mouths full of food. 

The manager cleared his throat. "Your schedules for today are cancelled. As well as for tomorrow's." Seeing the puzzled looks on the boys' faces, he continued. "Just rest for today, we'll talk tomorrow."

He diverted his gaze to Changkyun. "Changkyun, can we have a talk?"

Changkyun stiffens. "Okay." The boys exchanged glances while Changkyun looked down and picked at his food, no longer having an appetite. 

"Well, Changkyun, if you're done, please follow me." 

Changkyun swallowed, before pushing the chair out as he stood up. He followed the male manager out.

After the door slammed shut, the members broke out into hushed whispers. 

"What do you think it is about?" Kihyun started.

"I don't know, and I don't care." Jooheon stuffed another mouthful of omelette into his mouth, chewing it nonchalantly.

"Maybe it's about yesterday night?" the tallest of the group suggested.

"Maybe, or that they decided he shouldn't be promised to debut." shrugged Wonho.

"We're free from schedules for two days. It has to be serious." 

Kihyun's words were ignored by the others.

"Hey, you actually believe the rumors?" The tallest male interrupted, his gaze of utter disbelief lingering on Wonho.

"Why not? He basically appeared at the end of the show and debuted. It's highly likely that he bribed someone." Minhyuk defended, as he fed himself another mouthful of food.

"Plus, many people were talking about it, so...." Wonho added. But everyone could tell the guilt behind his words.

"I can't believe both of you. You guys didn't even see him handing money to the president, did you? How can you just believe what other's say?" Kihyun glared at both Minhyuk and Wonho.

"But you have to admit that it's suspicious. He entered so late, right after Minkyun left and debuted shortly after." Jooheon finally added his thoughts into the conversation. 

Kihyun let out a sigh, losing his appetite to continue breakfast.

Shownu lightly tapped his arm. "Let's stop, before we start to fight."

"Right, we can't have the new guy to destroy our friendship too." Minhyuk nonchalantly commented.

"Hey!" Kihyun was up from his seat in an instant, his eyes glazing with anger.

Feeling Shownu tightly gripping his elbow, he let out a huff, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"I think, you're the the one destroying our friendship, Lee Minhyuk."

********

Changkyun followed the manager out of the dormitory, into their van. During the short drive to the company, Changkyun's gaze was constantly out the window, staring into blank space. He dreaded the talk with the manager, for if it was to be held at the meeting room, it was something serious. Probably about them.

And if the manager noticed his discomfort, he didn't mention it.

Changkyun wondered how he was going to explain everything. He was puzzled at how they even found out about it. Fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, he jumped when the manager coughed loudly. Taking in the surroundings, Changkyun realized they had already reached the destination. Clearing his throat, he jumped out of the vehicle and slammed the door shut, before following the manager.

\-----

"So, Changkyun, how are you going to explain yourself?" The manager wasted no time in asking, intimidating the younger by how much he was leaning against the table and close to Changkyun.

Changkyun avoided eye contact with the elder as he fidgeted with his fingers under the table.

"I...er...." He tried to be subtle as he backed away from the manager a bit. 

"If you don't want to explain why you were acting that way, at least tell me exactly what happened last night."

Changkyun's gaze shot up. Last night? So he wasn't talking about that? What a relief. Gaining confidence rapidly, he placed his hands onto the table and crossed his legs as he sat up straighter.

"I wanted to breathe so I exited the room, into Minhyuk hyung's room. Then...the door was suddenly locked from the outside. It couldn't open, no matter how hard I tried. I even tried 'open sesame'."

The manager chuckled at the silliness of the younger, but his smile faded away when he realized how serious the rapper was. The rapper cleared his throat. 

"Yea... that's all."

That's when the older got suspicious. "So you got a panic attack? Just because the doors were locked?"

Changkyun kept his gaze directed to the ground. He wasn't going to bring them into the topic and was stubborn enough to not give the answer the manager wanted.

"Yes." He lied.

"You're not going to explain?"

When the manager received no answer, he sighed.

"Very well. Head back first, we'll discuss what's to be done."

Changkyun nodded, before pushing his chair away to stand up. He quietly thanked the elder, before going out of the door. Just stepping outside, he gulped, realizing that he had to walk back to the dorm himself. Alone. 

\-----

_"Look, it's the guy who probably bribed the company to let him debut."_

_"He doesn't deserve to debut, seriously."_

_"Gunhee would have been a better choice."_

Changkyun tried not to let the words get to him. Ever since No. MERCY had ended and the final lineup had been chosen, he had been hearing those comments every single time he walked in the company. 

It pained him, honestly, when people just thought he wasn't worthy of his position. And it made him wonder if they were right. 

Recognizing another group of people approaching, his hand subconsciously shook as he darted into the nearest bathroom. It was too much. 

Trying to ease his racing heart rate, he leaned against the wall, all the while hearing the footsteps coming nearer. He didn't even know why he was reacting this way, he knew he shouldn't be getting so affected by what people thought of him.

But he was.

Changkyun took deep breaths as he tried to calm his nerves. But the voices keep reverberating in his head. 

_"The new guy was probably promised to debut."_

_"How much did he pay the money to be guaranteed a spot?"_

Changkyun let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he slowly squatted down against the wall. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he tried to get himself together, but failing miserably.

But his heart rate accelerated even more when those people actually entered the bathroom. Changkyun had always heard their hate comments, so it was nothing new, though it always affected him. But what was new and causing his heart to palpitate so hard was the fact that they were approaching him.

They never came close to him before, just giving remarks from afar. And when the light gave their faces away for Changkyun, he gulped.

He let out a cry of anguish when the first punch was dealt to his abdominal area. It wasn't an experienced blow, but it hurt.

Another moan escaped his mouth when a foot kicked him in the same area. Just when he thought that was it and he was going to leave the earth, he heard another set of footsteps approaching the bathroom.

"Changkyun?"

*******

Changkyun's gaze landed on the voice of the person... Gunhee. At the sight of the new presence, the trainees frantically left.

Gunhee rushed to his side and squated down frantically. "What happened?" The older rapper questioned as he checked the younger's injuries.

But Changkyun didn't speak. 

He couldn't.

The person who had not debuted just because of him, is right in front of him, concerned about him. On top of that, his body ached with pain. "Hey, your stomach!" Gunhee yelled. 

Changkyun lifelessly made an attempt to look at the mentioned area. Oh. Bruises made their mark on his skin in black and blue patches. Changkyun turned back to look at the elder wordlessly, watching him care for the younger for the first time. 

"Get on my back." Gunhee instructed. 

He changed his mind, though, when he realized Changkyun could barely move. He was too shaken. And so Gunhee proceeded to carry the younger bridal style. "I'll bring you back to the dorm." 

"No!" Changkyun finally blurted out, his voice raspy. Gunhee stopped midway out of the bathroom. "Why?"

"Don't... don't tell them. Just...don't."

Gunhee stared at the mess in his arms, indecisive of what to do. He knew it was the right thing to bring Changkyun back to the dorm where the manager would know what to do, but the terrified look in the younger's face was too much. 

He sighed.

"I don't like it, but I'll bring you to my dorm instead." 

\-----

They reached Gunhee's dorm, Changkyun still in said owner's arms as Gunhee kicked off his shoes and brought Changkyun in. Changkyun had calmed down upon absorbing the warmth of Gunhee's body heat.

Gunhee set the younger on the sofa, Changkyun groaning as his body ached from the contact with the cushion. Gunhee rushed off to a room while Changkyun laid still on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Here you go." Gunhee reappeared, holding a first aid kit. Changkyun turned his head to glance at him. He raised his eyebrows at the elder's outstretched hand. 

Gunhee looked at his expression quizzically. "What? Oh, Oh. You're kidding, right?" 

But seeing Changkyun's poker face, he knew the younger wasn't. He sighed. Pulling out a stool to sit beside Changkyun, he opened up the first aid kit. He then looked at Changkyun's face. 

"Yes?" the younger questioned as he tried to make himself more comfortable, but winced at the pain that shot through his short body.

"Erm, I need to get your shirt off..." Gunhee trailed off, feeling embarrassed for the first time with the younger.

"Oh." Changkyun replied just as awkwardly. Then, he tried hoisting himself up, but ending back at the sofa. Gunhee stood up and rushed to his side immediately, helping Changkyun to sit up. Forgetting his shyness from a few moments ago, he helped the younger with the blood stained clothing. He saw it. The bleeding skin (probably from the heel of the person who kicked Changkyun.) And it looked nasty.

"Hey! Quit moving." He chided the younger, wanting to slap the younger's hand away but worried that it would cause the said person pain. Changkyun tried to stop wiggling, but Gunhee's fingers tickled his ribs and he let out a loud laugh instead. 

Gunhee stopped his hands midair. He stared at the giggling Changkyun for seconds. Changkyun's laughter died at his throat when he realized he had just laughed in front of the elder. He nervously glanced away and cleared his throat.

Gunhee noticed and he did the same, before continuing to pull the piece of fabric over the younger's head. 

"You know, you should laugh more. You look better." Gunhee whispered as he started to bandage Changkyun's abdominal area. Changkyun heard it, though he pretended not to. And the silence ensued throughout the whole time Gunhee was treating Changkyun.

\-----

"There, done." Gunhee announced as he cut off the excess bandage. He picked up the blood stained shirt and without as much as a glance to Changkyun, he stood up. "I'll help you wash this and return it to you one day."

"You don't have to..." Changkyun trailed off when he realized Gunhee had already left the room. He silently checked his bandage and noticed how neatly Gunhee had treated it. A smile blossomed on his face but it quickly disappeared when Gunhee reappeared beside him. "Here, where this."

The older handed him a black sweater. Changkyun tried to wear it but his injury forbade him to, and Gunhee ended up helping him. Needless to say, it was embarrassing. Changkyun avoided eye contact at all cost as Gunhee carefully placed the sweater over his head and tried to avoid the injured arm.

Gunhee gathered their belongings before leading Changkyun out of the building. The walk was uncomfortably silent. Changkyun was grateful to the older for his kindness but he didn't know how to express it. So he kept quiet like usual, silently enjoying the older's presence.

\-----

When they entered Changkyun's dorm, the flat was awfully quiet. Changkyun was the type who liked silence, but for some reasons, he felt nervous. It was as if he could sense danger coming. He led Gunhee in and kicked off his shoes when Hyungwon came rushing out. 

"Where have you been? The manager told us you left earlier but he reached earlier than you?" Hyungwon questioned, his hands on his hips as he cast a worried glance to the younger. It was only then did he notice Gunhee. "Oh, hey!" He briefly greeted, before focusing back on the youngest. 

Noticing the other rapper's obvious discomfort, Gunhee smiled and butted in. "Ah, I ran into him just now and we talked for awhile."

Hyungwon nodded. "Sorry, but can you wait outside? The members kind of have an important meeting with the managers right now in the room." 

"It's okay. I have to go anyway. I need to practice. Tell Jooheon I said hi." Gunhee silently shot a glance and a nod to Changkyun, who returned it, before exiting.

Feeling nervous, Changkyun followed Hyungwon into the said room. Noticing the tensed atmosphere, Changkyun quickly sat down beside Hyungwon, cross-legged. The other members shot glances at each other while the manager cleared his throat. 

"Changkyun... We have to discuss something with you." Changkyun nodded, feeling uneasiness kicking in. "Changkyun, the company is discussing about your panic attacks. If it happens too often, the company is debating whether or not to continue having you in the team, as we clearly do not want the fans to see one of the members in such a state." 

Changkyun's breath hitched.

"The decision is not confirmed, though. However, the company is also looking at the fact that many fans of No.MERCY wants you out." The manager continued smoothly, earning the glare from Jessica.

Changkyun nodded slowly, his hands gradually beginning to shake. Kihyun, seated on the left side of him, noticed and reached for his arm in an attempt to calm the younger. But Changkyun hissed in pain, his right hand reaching for his left arm. His eyes shaking as his eyes moistened, he felt the gazes of everyone on him.

Everyone else in the room were startled by the youngest's reaction to Kihyun's touch and they watched as Kihyun slowly placed his hands back onto his lap.

 _Not right now, if it happens right now they'll have more excuse to kick you out._ Changkyun's mind raced with thoughts as he felt the pain in his stomach penetrate through his body.

 _What's the point? Nobody wants you here anyway._ Realizing he was on the verge of another breakdown, Changkyun stood up. Kihyun wanted to reach to him again, but he remembered how the younger had flinched, thus he redrew his hands once again.

He wanted to announce that he was going to go out for a walk, but he didn't count on his voice to not betray him, so he just left. Changkyun ran out of the flat, his legs working faster and faster as he sprinted down the stairs. He needed air, he needed space. Reaching the ground floor, he ran out and trees whizzed by as he shot down the road. 

After a few minutes, he began to feel tired, but that didn't stop him from slowing down. Instead, he ran faster than ever. Feeling the wind against his face, thoughts began to swarm around his mind again. But the main one kept reappearing.

_'I should just put an end to all this._

***********

 

Changkyun froze. "Wha...what?" He spluttered.

\-----

(an hour ago)

Changkyun had been running for a good fifteen minutes already, and yet his speed was still constant. He could hear the muffled whispers of walkers as he sprinted past but he didn't care. Not when he was facing the risk of getting kicked out. 

It's never fair. It's always happening to me. Maybe I should just leave like what everyone wants.

Changkyun shook his head, trying to will the negative thoughts to go away. But they wouldn't. 

"Changkyun!" He heard a voice. It sounded familiar, but he wouldn't stop. He couldn't.

That is, until he felt strong arms stopping him, pulling him into the embrace of the person. Changkyun turned stiff, not used to the amount of skinship at the moment. Everyone had shunned him so much lately that he had forgotten the feeling of being loved.

"You're okay." The person told him. Changkyun felt himself wanting to believe him as his breath hitched. 

"You'll be fine." 

That was when Changkyun broke down, his face buried deep into the person's chest.

\-----

They stood in the middle of the sidewalk, just enjoying each other's embrace while ignoring the looks from passer-bys. Changkyun slowly but surely calmed down and only when he was left with just hiccups did the elder remove Changkyun's head from his chest, though against Changkyun's wills. 

"You know I don't like being touchy." He mumbled.

Changkyun let out a light chuckle, before engulfing the elder in a bear hug tightly. "I've not seen you for so long, Taehyuk hyung!" 

"I told you I don't like skinships!" Taehyuk tried to peel the child away from his body, but Changkyun stubbornly remained, his arms wrapped around the elder as if his life depended on it. 

Taehyuk gently let his arms swing back to their original position when he felt his former member's body starting to shake once again. He then slowly let his hands travel up the younger's back and moved it up and down, hoping it would help calm Changkyun down.

"I think I understand why Jeongwook and Jongyeon likes hugging you now." He mumbled after a minute of silence and Changkyun's breathing seemed more stable.

Changkyun looked up into his eyes. "Why?"

"You're so huggable."

Changkyun let out a soft laugh while he reached for his cheeks and let his sleeves soak up his tears. "Is that even a word?"

"As of now, it is." Taehyuk let go of the younger as he remembered something. "Ah, Changkyun, I have to discuss something important with you."

Changkyun nodded, curious as to what it is. And Taehyuk immediately regrets telling him he had to discuss something with him before reaching the cafe.

"What is it, hyung?"

"You'll know later."

"Tell me now!"

"Later."

"But I want to know, now!"

"I said later."

"When will you tell me?"

"When we reach the damn cafe." Changkyun could tell Taehyuk was slowly starting to lose his patience and was enjoying every moment of it, despite crying his heart out just ten minutes ago.

"When are we reaching this 'damn' cafe?"

Silence was all Changkyun got as an answer. He grinned, letting the silence dominate the pair for a minute while they crossed the road. Once they reached the other end of the road, however, he continued.

"Are we there yet?"

"You wouldn't be anywhere if you ask another question." Taehyuk growled.

"You wouldn't be anywhere if you ask another question," Changkyun repeated in the highest pitch he could make, which was really very high, just for the sake of provoking the elder.

Taehyuk shot him a glare. "You're really annoying."

"You're really annoying."

"Brat."

"Brat." 

Taehyuk grimaced as they entered the cafe. After ordering their drinks, they sat down on a table, facing each other. 

Changkyun took a sip of his mochaccino, before directing a question at the elder. "So? What did you want to discuss with Prince Changkyun?"

Taehyuk deliberately took a long sip of his green tea latte, enjoying both the taste of his drink and the impatience on Changkyun's face as revenge. "Well... don't be shock okay."

"Okay, now tell me already."

"Don't drink while I'm speaking either."

"Okay! What is it?" 

"Nubilityisdebutingagain."

"What?" Changkyun took another sip of his coffee.

"I said, Nubility, is debuting, again." Taehyuk repeated, as slowly as possible while he watched the younger for his reaction.

Changkyun froze. "Wha...what?" He spluttered. 

Then, he began to cough. 

Really hard.

"Hey, hey, are you okay?" Taehyuk handed him a tissue as he hopelessly watched the rapper choke. While he had expected an reaction, he didn't think it would be so drastic.

After a few minutes when his coughing fit finally ended, Changkyun took the tissue and answered weakly, "Never been better."

Taehyuk smiled. This time, the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Hyung, why? I thought we disbanded because the company didn't have enough money." Changkyun questioned, his voice still hoarse from all the coughing.

"They made a loan, or something like that." Taehyuk merely answered. He paused, before continuing. "We really want you back."

Changkyun looked up from his drink. When he removed his cup from his lips, Taehyuk could spot the foam on his lips. He coughed, really loudly.

"Your lips." He avoided Changkyun's eyes.

"Hyung, I didn't know you had a crush on me. I mean, I know I'm quite pretty-" 

"There's foam."

"Oh."

Changkyun wiped it away with the tissue. "I thought you would go all 'Secret Garden' on me." (A/N: Secret Garden is a Korean drama and there was this scene where the girl had foam on her lips and the guy kissed her to get it off.)

"You wish." Taehyuk snorted.

"But hyung, I'm in Monsta X now..." Changkyun diverted the topic back, his hands together on top of the table, fidgeting.

"Yes, but... We all saw how badly they treated you. We just want you to know that you could always come with us, we could debut together like nothing happened."

Changkyun stared at his coffee, thinking.

"You don't have to tell us your decision immediately, but tell us before next month because we'll start preparations then." Taehyuk finished up his drink.

"You don't have to feel pressured either, whatever your decision is, we will respect it and we will always be your good friends." Taehyuk sighed in relief as he finally finished all he had to say.

Changkyun nodded. "I'll think about it." Silence dominated the pair from then, as Changkyun was too deep in thoughts and Taehyuk was naturally a silent person. And when they left the cafe, they failed to see a familiar person seated just a table away.

Song Gunhee. And he heard everything.

************

Changkyun stayed up all night, tossing and turning in his sleep. He couldn't sleep at all, his mind racing with thoughts. A part of him wanted to return to Nubility badly, and yet there was another part that urged him to persevere on. 

You've came this far, don't give up now. 

He must really be lacking sleep, for he began to see himself in a tinier, angelic version, seated on his shoulder, wearing a white robe with a golden halo on top of his head, talking to him.

But they treat you like dirt, you should just leave. Nubility will treat you so muchhh better.

A devil version of himself, as small as the angelic one, with red horns on both side of his head, appeared on the other side of his shoulder, trashing its pitchfork violently towards the angel as he spoke.

Changkyun groaned from the noises of both the angelic him and the devilish him bickering on who is right. Gaining a headache quickly, he sat up in his bed, causing the wooden frame to creak. 

He widened his eyes, the alarm seem to have made the two tiny versions of himself disappear, thankfully. looking around with his blood-shot eyes to check if he had woken up the hyungs. Thankfully, Wonho and Jooheon were still sound asleep.

Moving away from the bed to the living room as stealthily as possible, he made his way onto the couch and laid there, hoping the sofa would help bring him to dreamland. It wasn't long before another voice broke the silence.

"Changk-"

Changkyun sat up in shock, his forehead banging into the person. He gasped. "You startled me!" 

Shownu chuckled as he watched the younger massage his forehead. 

"Hyung, don't your forehead hurt?"

"Nope, I'm made of steel." He joked.

"Very funny. What are you doing here?" 

"Why? Can't I be here?" Changkyun realized his mistake and rushed to correct it. "I'm sorry! I mean-"

"No, I'm sorry." Changkyun glanced up. What? Did Shownu just apologize? What for?

Shownu cleared his throat. "Tea?" 

Changkyun nodded.

And that was how the members woke up in the morning to find the youngest and oldest of the group sleeping soundly at the kitchen table, with two cups of half finished tea on the table.

\-----

Changkyun woke up to the heavenly smell of food. Opening his sleepy eyelids, he saw Kihyun cooking something alone and heard the voices of the members coming from the living room. He winced as his back throbbed with pain.

"You should go lie down on a bed or something. Your back probably hurts from that sitting position." He heard Kihyun mutter above the sound of cooking.

"Okay." Changkyun rose to his feet before dragging them to his room. He flopped heavily onto the bed, hoping to catch up on sleep. Shownu had fallen asleep immediately after a cup of tea, but the maknae had stared at the oldest's face for ages and when he had finally fallen asleep, he had woke up an hour later. 

And so he was rather annoyed when Hyungwon burst into his room and jumped on his bed, telling him that breakfast was ready, just 15 minutes after he had manage to doze off. 

Subconsciously, he let out a whine, in hopes that Hyungwon's disturbance would go away. It did, though Changkyun didn't notice as he was already drifting back to sleep.

Hyungwon froze at the noise the maknae just made. He felt another presence and turned to see Wonho lingering at the doorway. Apparently Wonho had heard that too, for his mouth was in the shape of an 'o'. 

"That's one of the cutest sounds I've ever heard." Wonho whispered in disbelief at the sleeping figure. 

"By the way, what do you think you're doing, Hyungwon-sshi?" He gestured towards Hyungwon who was standing on Changkyun's bed, legs wide open around the youngest.

"I was trying to wake him up." Hyungwon diverted his gaze back to their maknae. Leaning down towards him, he yelled, "WAKE UPPPPPPP!"Changkyun jumped up in shock, banging his forehead once again, against Hyungwon's. 

"Owww!" Both of them moaned at the same time. Unlike Shownu, Hyungwon grasped at his forehead like Changkyun, and glared at him.

"Sorry, hyung." 

"You know, you sound so cute when you whine. Almost like a....puppy! Can I call you kkukkungie?" The oldest in the room squealed in delight as his idea.

"Eyy, hyung, I'm not a dog."

"Kkukkungie!"

\-----

Changkyun sat at the back of their van, taking in as much of the scenery as he could with the small window. As trees whizzed by, he couldn't help but feel worried about what was to come. 

The members were given the day off, and they decided to exercise themselves at the gym. While Changkyun thought it was a great idea to buildup their bodies, it was his first time in a gym (because he absolutely detest working out) and he had no idea what to do whatsoever. 

It also didn't help the fact that he didn't have much breakfast, only a glass of milk with leftover cereal which wasn't a lot. He silently berated himself for waking up late thus causing himself to not have breakfast made by Kihyun as the members had already finished it up. They told him that they had thought he had already ate, but Changkyun knew it was an excuse and they did it deliberately. Nevertheless, he had nodded with a slight smile and continued munching on his pathetic excuse of a breakfast.

Nervously stepping into the cool gym, he glanced around and waited for the experienced members to begin first. Watching Wonho and Shownu immediately heading for the dumbbells was not encouraging at all, though. 

"Maknae, do this with me?" He glanced up to see Hyungwon by the treadmills and smiled. He just had to run. It can't be too hard, right?"

\-----

Apparently running on a treadmill wasn't as easy as it seems. For starters, Changkyun didn't even know how to operate the buttons and had to get help from the tallest member. It didn't help that the older set the speed too high at the start and Changkyun almost fell off, if he hadn't jump out in time.

Finally adjusting to the right speed, they ran together for a good thirty minutes. In fact, Changkyun was actually having fun laughing at Hyungwon whining about how he could have been sleeping instead. 

They changed stations a few times, Wonho teaching them how to do each station properly, while using the annoying nickname he gave Changkyun. Ignoring the looks from Minhyuk and Jooheon, Changkyun tried to enjoy himself, though he felt uncomfortable under their scrutinizing glares. 

"Let's do pull-ups together and we'll go back to the dorm." Shownu announced. Changkyun silently sighed in relief at the announcement. The members gathered around.

"One..."

"Two..."

"Three..."

\---

"Fifteen..."

"Hyung, I think that's enough!" Jooheon whined while the members started to let go of the pole one by one.

Changkyun got up, his shirt soaking with sweat when he realized something. His shirt had risen up during the workout. Looking at the members, he relaxed a little when he sees them not paying any attention at him. That is, until he caught Wonho's gaze. And his eyes held something different.

Changkyun tensed up as he quickly looked away. Making eye contact with Hyungwon who was passing him a bottle of water, his lips stretched into a smile which didn't quite reach his eyes while he gladly accepted the water. Pouring the contents of the bottle into his throat, he tried to calm down his palpitating heart which the gaze of Wonho caused. 

"Changkyun, can I speak with you for a moment?" Changkyun gulped at the question from the said elder. Wonho didn't even use his special nickname for Changkyun. Noting the seriousness of Wonho, Changkyun nodded

"Okay."

"What was that?" Wonho demanded. They were in the bathroom, Changkyun leaning against the wall while Wonho standing just a few inches away with his arms folded in a demanding manner. 

Changkyun's eyes shook nervously. "What was what?" He tried to feign ignorance.

"You know what." Wonho practically growled, before noticing how much he had frightened the younger. "Why were there bruises on your stomach area?" He directly asked, trying to seem less angry to calm the shaking rapper down.

Changkyun inhaled a deep breath. "I don't know what you're talking about." He lied, all the while trying to calm down his quickening heart.

"Stop pretending!" 

Wonho regretted his words immediately when he noticed the flash of hurt appearing on the younger's face. Trying to urge his impatience to dissipate, he took another deep breath.

"Changkyun, you have to tell me what's going on for me to help you." Wonho let out a sigh, hoping to convince the younger into confiding into him.

But he failed.

"Have you thought that maybe, just maybe, I don't want your help?" Changkyun snapped. Wonho glanced up, surprised, into the younger's brown eyes and saw a a void of darkness in them. Speechless, Wonho stared into Changkyun's brown orbs and tried to read them.

"I don't need your help, nor do I want it."Changkyun let out a deep breath. "So leave me alone." With that, the rapper pushed past the vocalist and out of the bathroom, leaving the vocalist alone.

Wonho leaned against the wall in exasperation. He was frustrated with himself for not being able to read Changkyun's eyes. He thought of following the younger to force the matter out of his mouth, but thought better after remembering how angry Changkyun seemed. That seemed to be the first emotion Wonho ever saw in Changkyun, other than guilt and sadness. And it scared him.

\-----

Changkyun ignored the looks of the other members and immediately sat down in the back seats with a huff. He knew he was showing his attitude but he couldn't calm down. His blood boiled in anger for the first time with the members as he plugged in his earphones, ignoring his growling stomach.

When Wonho approaches the car, Changkyun looked out of the window and avoided everyone's gazes altogether. His mind raced with thoughts, and the song, 'Hate' by 4minute wasn't helping. 

Why the hell would Wonho want to help me? He hates me. He's probably going to laugh at me if I tell him everything. Who the hell does he think he is, anyway? Thinking he could do anything to help. Thank God I didn't tell him anything. The tension in him began to evaporate as he thinks.

But maybe, he really wants to help. You never know. Changkyun shook his head. No way. He really hates me. Somehow, the negative side of Changkyun won the mental battle once again, and he slowly sunk into his seat. 'Fiction' by Beast started playing and he reminisces about Nubility doing the dance cover of this particular song while sinking into slumber.

In front of him, Wonho stared out of the window, ignoring the members' curious gazes on him. The usually noisy car was replaced with a tensed atmosphere and Wonho felt guilty for it. Still, he couldn't stop thinking about the scene in the bathroom.

He knew Changkyun sounded furious, but his eyes told a different story. Wonho didn't know what was held in his eyes, for it was so full of emotions, but he could tell one of the emotions distinctively. Disbelief. And Wonho was determined to help the younger, at all cost. He's going to go all in.

\-----

The members arrived at their practice room, getting ready for another session of practicing. Although they had the day off, they wanted to practice. Changkyun wasn't surprised when Jooheon suggested this, for he knew Jooheon was the kind to want everything to be perfect. Apparently, Changkyun was just ruining everything.

"Oh my god, can you just get the dance right for once?" Jooheon said in exasperation, a loud sigh escaping his mouth as he stomped over to restart the music. 

Changkyun kept quiet and moved silently to his spot at the beginning of the music. Jooheon's word had hurt him, but he wasn't going to let Jooheon know that.

[35 minutes later...]

Changkyun could feel their gazes on him as he found himself going slower and slower during the dance, lagging behind everyone else. This time, though, they didn't stop the music.

[Another 20 minutes later...]

"Changkyun, can you please try harder? You're ruining everything for us!" Changkyun continued to keep his silence throughout Jooheon's accusation.

[Another 10 minutes later...]

"Get up! What are you doing?" This time it was Minhyuk. Changkyun picked himself up from his fall and sloppily finished the song. Everyone's eyes were on him as he tried to breathe. 

Everything was too much. Changkyun could feel tears on his eyes once again. I'm such a baby, twice in a week? He thought to himself humorlessly. He didn't even dare to sit down, although his legs hurt from both the dancing and the fall.

"Stop it!" Everyone's gazes turned to Wonho, who was glaring daggers at both Jooheon and Minhyuk.

"You guys aren't even dancing that great either, who gave you the rights to blame Changkyun for everything?" 

The song replayed itself and echoed in the practice room, fitting in with the tensed atmosphere while the guys kept silent. Changkyun couldn't believe his ears, Wonho was actually standing up for him. Him, of all people. But his hopes of finally getting a friend was burst with Hyungwon's words.

"Didn't you say you hate him just yesterday?"

Wonho froze.

Jooheon seemed to gain confidence from that as he straightened up and told Wonho right in his face, "Stop being so two-faced, it's disgusting." 

"Not as disgusting as you, who do everything just to make the kid's life miserable. What's wrong with you?" Wonho counterattacked, eyes challenging the either to make a comeback.

"The kid didn't even do anything wrong to you!" Wonho continued, eyes blazing with anger and disbelief.

"You were the one who said he bribed someone for himself to debut!" The tallest reminded, much to Wonho's dismay.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here. At least wait till I'm gone." 

They turned to face Changkyun, who was already making his way out of the room. With a slam of the door, he was gone.

Ignoring the tension between the rapper and the vocalist in the room, Shownu turned to Kihyun. "I think we need a feast tonight, to make everyone simmer down."

"Right? I'll make a trip to the freezer room to get the ingredients." Kihyun agreed, staring at the trio who were still in an intense staring competition. (A/N: By freezer room I mean this huge room which is very cold, minus degrees celsius to keep food fresh.)

"Need help?" 

"Nah, I'm good."

"At least get Hyungwon to help you."

"No, I can manage on my own. Plus, Hyungwon won't be of help." Kihyun declined with a joke but his smile evaporated when he realized the tallest wasn't in the mood to counter his insult.

Until moments later, Hyungwon withdrew himself from the intense atmosphere between the trio. Apparently he had been listening all along.

"Sure, when your body is the size of a seven year old." 

"Keep talking and I won't cook your portion." Kihyun glared at younger, but he had to look up for Hyungwon was just that much taller than him.

"Sorry!" Hyungwon smirked. 

Huffing, Kihyun grabbed his bag and stomped off to the freezer room.

Shownu and Hyungwon left soon after, not wanting to be apart of the fight that was about to break out.

Jooheon sighed. "Look, Wonho hyung, I don't want to argue with you. But Changkyun is really getting on my nerves." Minhyuk nodded beside him in agreement.

"If you don't want to strain our relationship, try to be nicer to maknae. He's a part of us and the group won't work if you two don't accept him."

Both Jooheon and Minhyuk sighed again.

"Just try, for me?" 

The two kept silent, before they slowly nodded their heads.

*************

Changkyun escaped the room into the hallways, frustrated. He hated the memb- no, he doesn't hate the members. His mother has always told him that hate is too strong a word. He disliked the member's behavior and attitude, and hated himself for not being able to control himself sometimes.

Walking mindlessly along the hallways, he didn't realize, until it was too late, that he had once again encountered the commenters. 

"Ah, I still can't get used to the fact that the new guy is really debuting."

"How annoying, really. He did nothing but could debut. He must have given a lot of money."

Quickening his steps, Changkyun headed straight, not knowing where exactly he was going. But he lost it when they began to laugh mockingly behind him. He didn't turn, but he knew they were probably pointing at him as they ridiculed him with creative adjectives. 

He even felt as if they were following him, and his breathing grew rapid and unsteady. Turning into the nearest room, he threw open the door and closed it just as quickly, his back leaning against the heavy door as he tried to collect himself. That is, until he heard a loud click.

He thought nothing of it, and focused on just taking in deep breaths to calm down his racing heart. Just when he thought everything was over, and that he was fine, he realized how cold it was in the room.

It was freezing, even.

And the rapper was wearing a sweater.

Changkyun froze, finally making sense of what just happened. He had entered the freezer. The coldness in the room was no joke. No wonder it's called a freezer, Changkyun thought. The cold deeply penetrated into his bones and he shivered, using his hands to rub his arms in an attempt to create warmth. 

He placed his ears against the cold door, trying to hear for any noises outside. He lightly hopped from one leg to another upon feeling the cold getting to his toes. His toes tingled with a pain that felt like burning.

When he was sure that those people were gone, he reached for the door knob, ready to be greeted by warmth. That is, until he realized that the knob wasn't turning. 

The next thought of realization made him halt in his actions completely. 

Those people had locked him in from the outside.

His heart rate regaining its once rapid speed, the rapper frantically jabbed at the door handle. He tried to force the knob to turn, but it was of no use. A cry escaped his lips as he tried once again.

Finally getting that the door wasn't going to open any time soon,he felt his legs almost crumble as his muscles, weakened with the bitter cold and the situation, gave way, leaving him in a drab and hopeless heap on the floor. 

_No, Changkyun, you have to get out of this mess first._

His mind tried to get him to be logical. 

But it wasn't working. He couldn't breath, it felt as if someone was choking her. A choked cry for help forced itself up his throat, and he felt a tear run down his cheek.His breathing quickened from its already rapid pace. 

The storage of food surrounding him started to turn white and his heart was racing. All he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and wait for someone to save him. But no one would, no one was there. 

At least, that's what he thought.

Footsteps that sounded to be coming towards him seemed thundering loud. He tried to quieten down his breathing upon hearing footsteps coming his way from inside the room. He didn't want anyone to see him in this state. But nothing was working.

He tried to inhaled deep breaths and exhale it slowly, but he barely managed to wheeze it out as quick as his heart rate. Nothing was working, and the fact itself just made Changkyun panic even more. The coldness in the room was helping either.

"Changkyun?"

He looked up and saw a familiar white figure in front of him. 

*********

Kihyun was wondering what he could cook with the frozen beef in his hands when he heard a shut of the door, followed by a clicking sound. He paused, pondering over if he should check who had entered. He was about to put the meat back into the shelf when he heard someone gasping for air. 

Really violently.

Glancing towards the source of the sound, he placed the meat back to its original position just as the heavy breathing became even more rapid. Walking briskly to the door, he halted at the sight before him. Changkyun sat against the door, wheezing. 

Kihyun didn't know what to do, he had never been met with such a situation before.

Taking timid steps towards the rapper, he stared at the shivering body on the floor. "Changkyun?"

He braced himself as he watched Changkyun slowly lift up his head to look at him in the eyes. It was a small action, and yet Kihyun felt himself melting a little at the cute scene before him. But it was short-lived.

The vocalist noticed the emptiness behind those brown orbs.

Changkyun looked away almost instantly, his hands wrapped around himself, as if he was shielding himself from Kihyun. His action stung Kihyun a bit.

"Why are you here?" Kihyun tried to ask, before berating himself. _Does he look like he could answer your question?_ Kihyun shook his head, before squatting down beside the younger. 

"Changkyun, try taking in large breathes and slowly breathe it out, through your mouth."

Aware that it wasn't working, Kihyun wrapped his arms around the younger, and felt the younger tensing up even more. Ignoring that, he told himself, Jeongwook could do it that day, you could too. Except there was no bed around for Changkyun to lie down, and the cold floor was not an option either, so Kihyun opted for the next best solution. His weapon, his voice. Kihyun started singing a soft and soothing melody, hoping it would calm Changkyun down.

And it worked.

As the seconds passed, Kihyun could feel the tension in Changkyun's body evaporate away and he continued to sing, until Changkyun's breathing steadied itself. While the melody of lyrics flowed out of the older's mouth, he subconsciously took in every feature of Changkyun. It was only then did he realize that the younger wasn't as ugly as what the others had said. He even looked better than decent, Kihyun thought. As the song finished, he lifted Changkyun's head. "Are you feeling better?"

Changkyun nodded, but Kihyun noticed how he shivered for a fraction of a second. Without a moment's hesitation, he slipped off his own jacket and covered Changkyun's body with it. 

"What's with your face?" Kihyun couldn't help but question the emotion on the rapper's face.

"I know I'm ugly but did you hav-"

"Changkyun, you're not ugly. At all." The vocalist interrupted, not understanding how Changkyun could even have that thought.

"Oh." Kihyun tried not to laugh as Changkyun's cheeks grew a tint of red. A smile made its way onto the vocalist's face as he realized that he had made Changkyun blush.

"Why do you look so scared?" 

"The door's locked." Changkyun tried to answer as monotonously as possible, trying to hide his burning cheeks.

Finally understanding the situation, Kihyun nodded. "I'll just call the members." 

But just as Kihyun dialed a number, the device flickered before shutting itself, diminishing all hopes of leaving the place.

"Shit." Both the members mumbled, locking eyes with each other.

\-----------

"It's getting really cold in here." Kihyun mumbled, walking around in circles in hopes of preventing even more heat to escape from his body.

"Here, you can have this back." Kihyun stared at his own jacket in Changkyun's outstretched hands and shook his head.

"Nah, I'm fine. Shownu and the others should be here soon, I told Shownu where i was going before coming here." 

Changkyun nodded, feeling his eyelids becoming heavier and heavier. His empty stomach didn't help and the world was spinning before him.He clutched at his forehead, willing for the dizziness to go away. Not wanting to alarm the Kihyun, he held in the groan his body was itching to let out.

But before he knew it, his vision blurred before darkness engulfed him.

"I really hope they come soon." 

Noticing he received no reply, Kihyun glanced towards Changkyun, who laid still onto the floor. "Changkyun?" 

Panic became evident in his eyes when he realized how spiritless the other was.

Taking big strides towards the younger, he hoisted the younger up in his arms and shook him gently in hopes of waking him up. 'Changkyun, Changkyun!" 

The shaking became more violent until he realized how fruitless his attempt was.

The vocalist stared wide-eyed in despair at the lifeless body in his hands.

Just then, door flung open and Kihyun met the gaze of a worried Shownu. "Quick, he fainted!" Kihyun watch as Shownu got the gist of the situation quickly and hoisted Changkyun up bridal style in his arms. Pushing past Wonho who was outside the room, he followed after Shownu who was already rushing to the car park. 

They were fortunate enough to meet the manager on the way and he quickly drove them to the nearest hospital. Throughout the ride, Kihyun constantly held Changkyun's hands, while Wonho called the other members. 

When they finally arrived, Shownu picked Changkyun up with ease and they soon were left outside the room while the doctor did his job, checking on Changkyun.

"Do any of you know what happened?" The manager directed his question to all the members seated. 

"No, I was picking out some ingredients when I heard the door getting lock, and Changkyun was hyperventilating at the side."

"Again?" The manager asked, to which Kihyun nodded.

Wonho piped up. "That day... at the gym, I noticed some bruises at his abdomen area and asked him about it. He got really frightened and angry, telling me he didn't want my help"

Minhyuk and Jooheon stared guiltily at the floor while the others started linking their observations up, Shownu quietly listening.

"The other day, after Jeongwook and Jongyeon left, I was there when he woke up and he just randomly fell out of his bed, clutching at his sides..." Hyungwon added. 

Both the members and the managers sat in silence as they linked up everything by themselves. 

"So someone was assaulting Changkyun?" Wonho looked up at the other members for confirmation.

"I think so."

"To think I had been so mean to him when he's facing all of this alone..." Minhyuk's voice broke as he turned around to face the wall. None of the members needed to guess to know he was crying.

Jooheon stared silently at the members, guilt stabbing at his heart as he recalled everything. "The other day...before No.Mercy ended, I told him that I wasn't willing to talk to or befriend him..." Jooheon started, raising his gaze from the floor to the members. 

"Do you know what he replied with? He said he was glad that I was talking to him then." Jooheon looked away from the members, tears welling up in his eyes. 

"There, there..." Shownu was by his side in an instant, drowning the rapper in a bear hug. 

After a few moments of silence, Jooheon spoke again. "You're like a dad." He smiled through his tears. Shownu chuckled, still holding the younger tightly.

"Let go of him, hyung. You're strangling him with your bulky arms." Kihyun joked, easing the tensed atmosphere by a bit.

Just then, the doctor came out. They stood up to greet him, and awaited news from the male doctor. 

"He's fine, just deprived of food. Also, all the bruises all over his body? They will heal eventually but there's one on his stomach that is more severe. It had started to heal though, so don't worry. I'll recommend him to stay here for one night, as he hasn't wake up yet."

The manager nodded, just as the members heaved a sigh of relief. "Let him stay for a night then."

After the doctor left, the members slumped back into the seats. "Thank god he's fine." Wonho breathed out.

"Yea, now let's go back home, we'll come back here tomorrow morning." The manager stood up, ready to lead the boys back. Though reluctant, they followed him out, looking back constantly at Changkyun's room.

***********

Changkyun awoke to bright lights surrounding him. Looking around, he recognized the setting - a hospital room. Blinking rapidly, he tried to adjust to the brightness while he tried to get up, only to be stopped by someone.

"Hey, don't you dare sit up. I will smack you." The mere sentence of Taehyuk brought a smile to Changkyun's dry lips. The rapper laid back down. When his tired eyes finally grew accustomed to the blinding light, he turned to his side, to be met with his four Nubility members.

The sight of them made Changkyun happier than ever and he reached over to ruffle the youngest's hair. 

"Hey, look here." Someone slapped his hand away and Changkyun met the gaze of Byunghwa. "How dare you end up in this state. Do you know how worr-" 

"Hyung! Long time no see!" Changkyun greeted him cheerfully. Byunghwa tried to force the smile that was growing on his lips to go away as he pretended to let out a huge sigh.

A very loud and obvious cough escaped Jeongwook's mouth, earning a jab from Taehyuk and the giggle from Jongyeon. 

"Erhuerm, so as I was saying, do you know how worried we are when-" Byunghwa tried to continue but Changkyun just wouldn't let him.

"Awww, you guys love me too much." Changkyun exaggerated his facial expressions as he showed the finger heart to Byunghwa, receiving a glare and look of disgust from the latter.

"Erm, ew?" Taehyuk gestured to the both of them and the rest snickered. 

"How are you guys?" Changkyun asked, his voice hoarse. 

"Fine and here, have my blessed holy water. I drank it so it's magical." Taehyuk extended his hand to the rapper, a half filled bottle in his hands.

Changkyun chuckled, blatantly ignoring the oldest's outstretched arm. He exaggerated his motion of looking towards the ceiling. "I don't think I want to drink it, if it's yours."

"You brat, I will whoop you!" Taehyuk raised his fist, trying to seem intimidating. 

"Here, Changkyun hyung, you can have mine." Jongyeon took out his own bottle from his backpack and showed it to the rapper.

Changkyun grinned and gulped down the water hungrily, ruffling Jongyeon's hair in the process. 

"Look, hyungs, he's such a nice kid. Ya'll should learn from him." Changkyun joked once the liquid flowed down his throat and comforted it.

"Jongyeon, why do you let him ruffle your hair when you get all angsty when we do it?" 

Jongyeon answered without looking at Byunghwa, "He's my favorite hyung, of course he's allowed."

Byunghwa exaggerated his face into one of pure shock while Jeongwook scoffed at the smug look Changkyun had on his face. Taehyuk turned around and rolled his eyes, mumbling words along the lines of "my poor ears," just as the door swing open. 

"Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there." 

Taehyuk looked up to meet the eyes of the tallest in Monsta X. He could hear the rest of Nubility turning around to scrutinize the intruders. The tension thickened while the door pushed open farther more and the rest of Hyungwon's group trudged in.

"How rude." Taehyuk finally answered, taking in the faces of the other group.

"Who are you guys to come trespassing here?" Minhyuk demanded, hands on his hips as he glared at the four guys surrounding their maknae's bed.

Behind him, Wonho started singing softly, "Knock knock, I'm going in now..."

Minhyuk ignored the angelic singing behind him and focused on the stare down with Nubility's leader, only to hear the song continue on.

"It's clear you're gonna be shocked," Kihyun continued just as softly, but it rang in everyone's ear for the room was that quiet.

Minhyuk stood still and focused on the ongoing challenge, though he really wanted to give a hard smack to the vocalists behind.

"I'm quickly going in, I'm quickly going in, trespassing." The tallest added on and that was all needed for Minhyuk to snap. 

"Shut up!" He spun around and diverted his killer gaze on to the three vocalists, standing from tallest to shortest coincidentally. Hyungwon and Kihyun instinctively took a step back and hid behind Wonho. Wonho tried to remain calm as he let out a fake laugh.

Minhyuk glared intensely at them, before turning back around once he was sure they wouldn't start singing again.

Once his back was facing them, Kihyun jabbed Wonho in the ribs. Ignoring Wonho's yelp, Kihyun whispered an accusation. "It's all your fault."

"What?"

"Hyungs.... I know you want to jab your finger up each other's asses, but let's wait until later because Minhyuk is scary right now." Hyungwon tried to separate the two vocalists.

Changkyun heard and tried to stifle his giggle but to no avail. Instead, to cover up, he pulled up the blankets and shifted to the other side. 

Taehyuk noticed Minhyuk's eyes go softer at the sound made by the rapper and hesitated. He was going to be as rude as possible, but seeing the look of affection in Minhyuk's eyes, his decision changed.

"What do you mean who are we-" Byunghwa cut Jeongwook off quickly. "We were informed by Changkyunie's manager, about him being in the hospital and we decided to visit him."

"Yea, sorry if we came without asking you guys." Jongyeon added. Taehyuk grinned at how the both of his members could interpret the situation and give a hopeless glance to a very confused Jeongwook.

"Changkyunnie hyung! We're going to go." 

Changkyun turned around and smiled at the youngest. "Shalom." 

One by one, they hugged their ex member, with different sentences each.

"I'll miss you, hyung!"

"Brat, you better not make us worry again."

"If you dare pull such a stunt again, I will whoop your apple hips!"

Changkyun let out a laugh and wiggled his eyebrows, "I know you like my apple hips, Byungtae!" (A/N: 'byuntae' means 'pervert' and Changkyun's making fun of Byunghwa by saying 'byungtae' instead.) 

After Byunghwa slapped Changkyun's shoulder harshly and Changkyun let out a yelp, Taehyuk was next. "Give me a reply by next week, okay? The manager said we have to start practicing earlier."

"Our Changkyun isn't going to go." 

Taehyuk turned slowly to face the tallest in Monsta X. 

Gunhee had told the boys about Changkyun's conversation with Taehyuk yesterday, after the boys returned to the dorm and the manager had even told them that they will have to disband if Changkyun left, for Starship wouldn't want the group to have a solo rapper since it was supposed to be a hip hop group. Therefore, determination could be seen on the members' faces while Kihyun tried to puff out and look taller. 

"You know, I really dislike you since you entered that door." Taehyuk stated, his arms crossed while Changkyun took note of how Hyungwon used 'our Changkyun'. It made him feel all bubbly inside. He was theirs.

"Changkyun is in Monsta X now and he won't be leaving." Wonho took big strides and stood firmly beside Hyungwon.

Taehyuk stared silently at them until Jeongwook killed the silence. "Stop talking bullshit. You treat him so badly and yet you guys are so selfish to want him-" He stopped when his leader touched him lightly on the shoulder.

Taehyuk tried to give a smile as genuine as he could. "I think it's all up to Changkyun." Giving one last pat on said person's head, he went out of the door, followed by his three members.

***********

All six members stared at the door, unmoving. They all sneaked peaks at their maknae, who hid himself in the blanket. The more they couldn't see him, the less they would hate him, he thought. 

"Changkyun, are you feeling better?"

The maknae curled up even more, wondering if he was hearing things. He must be dreaming. He pinched himself just to make sure. Ow. Bad decision. Changkyun let out a soft yelp. Realizing what he has done, his hand flew to cover over his mouth and his body tensed.

With his back facing them, he didn't see Wonho jabbing Minhyuk's ribs, mouthing 'I told you he was cute' and Minhyuk shrugging it off. He didn't see Kihyun's eyebrow shooting up and his mouth in the shape of an 'o'. He didn't see Shownu's grin or Hyungwon's slight step forward. He didn't see Jooheon's face relax a little from his hard glare. 

Instead, he pulled the cover in farther up to cover practically all of his body and silently wished Nubility was still in the room with him. 

Kihyun cleared his throat. "Changkyun?"

The mentioned person held in his breath, his eyes tightly closed. 

"I think he fell asleep." He heard Wonho whisper loudly.

"Yea, let's go first, then." The tallest had replied just as loudly, making the youngest cringe. 

He heard their footsteps fading away out of the door before he let out his breath. Moments later, the door reopened.

"Patient Lim Changkyun, let me do a few checks on you before you're discharged." A feminine voice called and Changkyun finally turned - to catch the gazes from both the nurse and his members. 

He gulped.

"You should at least act decently, ya'know." Kihyun commented while the nurse checked his blood pressure and heart rate.

"I...I was really sleeping." The maknae tried to defend himself.

Hyungwon snorted, "yea right, and Wonho has a brain."

"Hey!" Wonho mercilessly jabbed the tallest in the ribs.

"Oww!" Hyungwon retaliated, shoving Wonho onto the floor. 

Wonho managed to catch himself in time, though he stayed squatting above the floor and glaring up at Hyungwon.

Everyone glanced at Changkyun in amazement when they heard his laughter echoing in the room. The moment felt surreal for Changkyun, for his hyungs were looking at him with a look other than hate. The moment was ruined though, when the nurse yelled, "Quit laughing! Your heart rate is increasing. Aish, kids nowadays."

Changkyun coughed loudly and waited while the nurse finished final checks. However, just when he thought he could go back to the dorm, the nurse turned towards the members.

"Get out," She muttered.

"What?" Wonho managed to ask after the group's 30 seconds silence.

The nurse sighed, "I said, GET OUT!" 

"Okay, okay!" Kihyun managed to reply as the boys scrambled to exit the room. Changkyun shifted uncomfortably as the room felt colder than ever.

"Lift up your shirt, I need to apply medication onto your bruises." 

Changkyun has never felt more awkward around a middle aged woman.

\-----

The nurse had barely finished up when the door reopened.

"What's taking so long? The manager is here--" Minhyuk halted his sentence as he took in the scene before him.

Changkyun looked down and realized what the elder was viewing and scrambled to put on his shirt, hissing when the clothing made contact with his injuries. 

"Do you mind? We're not done yet." The nurse grumbled.

Minhyuk looked back up from Changkyun's body to his eyes. "Sorry." He whispered, before dashing out of the room.

Somehow, it felt like the apology was directed towards him, not the nurse. And Changkyun didn't know what to think while the grumpy nurse bandaged his injured arm.

\-----

Putting on his jacket, Changkyun thanked the nurse (which she ignored) and walked out of the door. He didn't know what to expect, after Minhyuk had walked in and saw his injuries. Is he going to make fun of me? Changkyun had thought. But the thought was pushed away, when the manager came and started reciting their schedule for the day.

"Since I.M is injured and can't practice, we'll start with vocals first as Changkyun can't go for the photoshoot either. We'll first head back to the dorm, though." The boys all nodded while Changkyun's gaze was fixed onto the floor, blaming himself for screwing up the schedule and thinking the others were also glaring at him when in fact, they were all giving him looks of empathy. Except Jooheon, who stomped past.

Shoulders slumped, he followed the others to their vehicle and stayed silent the whole journey back.

\-------------

The members trudged back to the dorm, Wonho and Hyungwon heading towards the bathroom immediately while Kihyun and Shownu went to the kitchen to make breakfast. Well, Shownu tries to help but ends up just getting scolded by Kihyun waving his frying pan dangerously.

Jooheon entered his room and Minhyuk followed after him, collapsing beside him in Jooheon's bed while Changkyun also crashed on his own bed.

Changkyun continued to keep his silence while he silently watched Minhyuk pester the other rapper through the reflection on the wardrobe's mirror. He subconsciously hugged his baymax soft toy harder as he recalled that he has just a few days to answer to Taehyuk.

Part of him really wanted to return to them, to escape all the bullshit the members were giving him but another part of him wanted him to stay on, for he has gone through so much, why give up now?

He was raking his head so much he didn't realize all the members were already done preparing and were having breakfast. Deciding not to shower since he had just gotten treated, he hopped down the bed and headed towards the heavenly smell.

Plopping down in his seat, which thankfully was farthest away from Minhyuk and Jooheon, he started gobbling down the food hungrily. He had not eaten much since yesterday, after all.

The members watch in amusement except for Jooheon who snorted and grabbed for the last bacon, which Changkyun was coincidentally also reaching for. Jooheon gave a hard glare at the younger and caused the latter to slowly redraw his fork back to his plate dejectedly and Jooheon picked it up victoriously, only to have it stolen by the shortest.

"Changkyun hasn't eaten anything since yesterday, be nicer, you brat." Kihyun barely give Jooheon a glance before he shoved the bacon into Changkyun's plate. The maknae smiled and shoved it into his mouth hungrily.

He stopped chewing, though, when Jooheon stood up abruptly, throwing his utensils onto the same plate. The members watched, wide eyed as he stomped out of the dorm without as much as a glance towards the table.

The members shot each other looks of what the hell do we do, until Wonho smiled at Changkyun. "Continue eating, he probably went to the car first."

Changkyun nodded and continue eating, though everyone could notice the drastic decrease in the speed of his chewing. They quickly finished their meals and went to the vehicle. True enough, the rapper was inside, sulking.

The members entered one by one, Hyungwon purposely entering first so he would sit at the back with Jooheon instead of Changkyun, who ended up squashed between Kihyun and Wonho. They started the awkwardly silent journey back to the company.

\-----

"Oh my god, can't you rap better?"

Changkyun and Jooheon were alone, practicing their raps while the vocalists got their vocal lesson.

Changkyun muttered a soft apology, only to earn the sigh of the other rapper.

'Don't apologize, improve! You're messing everything up for us!" Jooheon's hands moved about dramatically.

His head still down, Changkyun nodded. They had repeated the raps repeatedly that Changkyun was starting to feel tired of the same lyrics, but Jooheon still insisted on practicing continuously and kept pointing out the younger's mistakes. Changkyun had silently tried to improve his mistakes, but really, after some time, the mistakes that were pointed out were quite silly.

"Can you not move your hands like that while rapping? It's unattractive."

"You should have better expressions."

Changkyun wondered if Jooheon was just deliberately pointing them out because of the bacon incident, but he remembered how he had took Gunhee's spot and stopped himself from retorting to the elder's remarks.

They had practiced for hours and Changkyun could feel a sore throat coming up. He continued anyway, for the sake of not angering the older. When they finally left the small room, they met the worried gazes of some of the other members.

"What? I didn't do anything to him." Jooheon rolled his eyes, moving to let them catch a glimpse of Changkyun in the room packing his bag.

Minhyuk scrutinized the duo before whispering to Jooheon, "Do you really hate him so much?"

But Changkyun heard. For some reason, he couldn't bear to hear Jooheon's reply. He knew the answer, anyway. But it was a different thing to hear Jooheon himself say that he hated him. Pushing past the door abruptly, he made a brief eye contact with Jooheon before he was gone.

The members heard a slam of door and stood silently, unable to fully comprehend the situation. That was until Kihyun walked in casually and asked, "Did you see someone zoom out of the company? He ran so fast!"

"Out of the company?" Shownu asked, the situation slowly starting to make sense in his head as the wheels in his mind turned rapidly.

Kihyun nodded.

"Changkyun!" Surprising the others, Jooheon immediately made a dash in the same direction Changkyun had disappeared to.

Shownu desperately looked at Minhyuk and Kihyun. "Get the others, we have to find Changkyun quickly!"

Kihyun and Minhyuk nodded, both running off after seeing Shownu following the same direction as Jooheon.

\-----

"What's wrong with Changkyun running off, though?" Minhyuk had asked when they rounded up the members in the bathroom.

"He would promise Taehyuk and debut with them." Hyungwon groaned, before adding, "congratulations, world's dumbest person goes to Lee Minhyuk!"

And the four took off in search of their maknae, ignoring the tallest male's sarcasm.

**********

"You haven't found him either?" was Wonho's question when he finally made his way back to their dorm, only to see the five members slumped on the sofa. Letting out a sigh, he joined the other on the couch while Hyungwon shoved a towel at him for him to wipe away his sweat. 

"It has been two hours already!" Everyone turned to see Minhyuk's red eyes as he stood up and began to pace about.

Kihyun ran his fingers through his dark hair. "What if... he does something silly?"

The others froze. They had all been worrying that their maknae would promise to debut with Nubility and ruin their own debut but had not even once thought about the youngest's welfare.

"He won't. He's mature enough." Shownu tried to reassure them.

"He is..." Wonho agreed and Shownu relaxed a little. "But considering our attitude towards him since No Mercy, he might..."

Shownu grasped Minhyuk, who was starting to tear up as guilt consumed him, into his arms for a bear hug.

"Let's think positively. Jooheon ran after him the first and he also hasn't returned. He must have found him." Shownu tried again, slowly rubbing circles onto Minhyuk's back.

The tallest nodded. "Plus, they have the 'young and free' spirit, they can run faster."

"What kind of logic is that." Hyungwon was met with a light punch from Kihyun.

"Unless, they both..." Shownu quickly shushed the figure in his arms just as the door flung open.

Everyone stood up to be met with the view of Jooheon piggy-backing their maknae. 

"Oooh, this entrance is like from a fairy tale."

"You found him!"

"Are you guys okay?"

"What happened? Where was he?"

"Bring him to the room for him to rest."

Jooheon eyed the members silently, before opening his mouth to finally speak. "First of all, I think we're fine, just quite tired because this boy can run. I actually chased him all the way to Han River, which is only possible because of our young spirit, and --" 

"I told you!"

He paused to shoot the tallest a glare. "NO, this is not a fairy tale." Relaxing his facial muscles, he nodded at the eldest before going into the room to let the maknae rest.

He gently dropped him into Wonho's bed before making his way towards the door. Before fully exiting, he paused and looked back at the still figure.

"I'm sorry," He whispered, before fully shutting the door.

Back in the bed, Changkyun laid still. He heard it.

\-----

[90 minutes earlier]

Jooheon puffed in exasperation. When is the kid going to stop running? He wondered as he dashed past passer-bys. He couldn't even called out his name, for people might recognize them. Instead, he tried to run faster to catch up with the boy.

To his horror, the boy dashed across the road just as the green man turned red. He watched as cars whizzed by and Changkyun was no longer to be seen. He tapped his foot impatiently. Hurry up, hurry up, he willed the green man to appear. 

When it finally did, he sprinted across but was at a loss as to which direction he should turn. Deciding left, he ran. Looking around with each step he took, he only realized that he must have chosen the wrong direction when the road started to become smaller and smaller until he was met with a dead end. Cursing, he fumbled with his cap until the lightbulb in his head switched on. Gunhee.

Gunhee would know where the boy was headed, especially if Jooheon's hunch about Changkyun sealing the deal with Taehyuk was right. 

\-----

[60 minutes earlier...]

Changkyun cut through the alleys to the familiar place. Never once looking back, he carried on sprinting. Only when he reached his destination did he stopped and bent over, gasping for air. Not sparing a moment's hesitation, he took out his mobile phone and dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hyung, can you come down right now? I'm at the beach near the Han River, outside the cafe you took me to." Changkyun said between fits of cough.

"Okay, are you fine though?" 

Changkyun paused, before killing the call.

He had made up his mind. He wasn't going to stand another minute getting pushed around by the members, especially Jooheon. Just thinking about the elder had caused Changkyun's heart to beat faster. Probably in anger, he thought. But he still couldn't get over the fact that he had ran away just because he was about to hear the rapper confess that he truly hated him.

Kicking the sand away, he didn't notice his first tear trailing down his cheeks. Then another. And another. 

All of a sudden, he was met with the embrace of someone. The person didn't speak, but it must be Taehyuk, so Changkyun choked as he leaned back into the warmth. 

"What to do, hyung? They all hate me." Changkyun hiccuped, trying to wipe away the now overflowing tears. 

A few minutes of comfortable silence fell between the two.

"I... I don't hate you."

Changkyun froze. That was when he realized some very important things. 

1) Taehyuk never hugs anyone.

2) The voice... sounded like Jooheon.

3) He was screwed.

He tried to slowly turn around, but the elder stopped him with the death grip he had on the younger. 

Jooheon placed his chin on the younger's shoulder.

"I...I never hated you." He took a deep breath while Changkyun's eyes wandered around, not knowing what to expect from the elder. It was the first time they were this close, too.

"I was unhappy that you debuted instead of Gunhee, yes, but I never once hated you." He continued, slowly releasing his grip.

"I was really upset that you made it instead of Gunhee so I was really rude to you and all."

Changkyun finally spoke, looking into the elder's eyes, "It's okay."

Jooheon let out a bitter laugh. "I haven't even apologized and you're forgiving me already."

Changkyun returned a tiny smile, which the elder deemed adorable.

"I'm really sorry, you don't deserve all that shit. Looking back, I realized how childish I was acting." Jooheon embraced the younger one once again, lightly hitting the younger for the younger's next sentence.

"Gee, hyung, never took you for the touchy touchy type."

\-----

From afar, Taehyuk stood and watched the hugging figures and his former member's laughter echoing. He quickly disappeared, though, before they could spot him.

\-----

Jooheon finally let go of the younger.

"Come on, let's go back."

"Er... Hyung?"

"What?" Jooheon turned to see Changkyun smiling sheepishly.

"My legs are kind of tired..."

Jooheon sighed. Walking back towards the younger, he turned around and squatted in front of him.

"Get on."

"I was going to say that I just needed a break at--"

"I said get on!" 

Changkyun laughed at the redness brewing on his hyung's cheeks.

"Sir yes sir!" And he hopped gently onto Jooheon's back.

Though the walk back was silent, it wasn't awkward at all. 

Surprisingly. 

************

Changkyun replayed the scene between him and Jooheon over and over again, until he finally fell asleep. He didn't realize the members checking on him while casting worried glances at him while he tossed and turned. 

He didn't realize that he was in the same shadowy nightmare of the members mocking him again until he felt himself falling. It was horrifying as Changkyun felt himself land on a rock hard ground. 

That's it. I'm dead. He thought.

That is, until he heard some frantic voices calling out for him.

"Changkyun?!" 

He opened his eye slowly, expecting to see angels ready to send him to heaven - wait, maybe hell. Of course, what was he thinking? He stole someone's spot for fame, obviously it would be devils sending him off to hell.

But he was greeted by a worried Wonho instead. 

"Are you an angel or a devil?" Changkyun mumbled.

Wonho froze, before contemplating the answer. "I'm a devilish angel."

Changkyun nodded. 

"I knew I'm dead," he whispered so softly that Wonho didn't catch it.

"Are you okay? Did you hit your head? Oh my god, Jooheon call Kihyun, quickly!" 

Now that Wonho mentioned it, the back of Changkyun's head did hurt, badly. He winced at the sharp pain while he heard the rustling of Jooheon racing out of the room.

"I...I'm fine." He managed to word out, only to be snorted at by the elder.

"Fine, my ass." The vocalist paused. "Wait, actually my ass is pretty fine ya'know..."

"WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR CHANGKYUNIE!" 

Minhyuk's voice seem to worsen the headache in Changkyun as he let out a soft groan.

"Shut up, you idiot. You're worsening his headache." Kihyun scolded as he pushed past Minhyuk.

He knelt down beside their maknae and worriedly checked for his injuries, while asking Wonho what happened.

"He fell out of his bed." 

"What?" Minhyuk yelled again, this time significantly softer.

"I heard a loud 'thud', and bam! He's lying on the floor."

"My poor baby." Kihyun muttered before he turned to instruct Minhyuk to get some ice pack.

Changkyun tried to ignore the nickname but he found himself grinning and his cheeks heating up. Hoping that no one else saw the light shade of red on his cheeks, he tried to turn his head away from his hyungs subtly.

When Minhyuk came waltzing back with no ice pack in his hands, the shortest sighed and asked Shownu to follow Minhyuk as Shownu knew where it was at.

"Where else could an ice pack be, in your ass?" Kihyun asked sarcastically as he took the ice pack and placed it over Changkyun's head and Changkyun immediately felt a little better.

"I didn't know it was in the top part of the fridge!" Minhyuk tried to explain himself, only to earn himself a "yea, right" from the shortest vocalist.

He let out a humph before focusing on their maknae. "How did you fall out though? Did you have a nightmare?"

"I will turn all your lives into a nightmare if you continue to disturb my sleep."

It didn't take a genius to know who said that and everyone merely ignored the tallest.

Changkyun smiled a little at the threat before reaching up to hold the ice pack himself. He adjusted it more to the back where the pain really was, before making eye contact with the members. "I'm sorry I woke you guys up so early in the morn-"

"Are you serious right now?" 

Changkyun looked up to see Jooheon staring at him with something unreadable in his eyes.

"You freaking hit your head but here you are, apologizing to us like you did something wrong."

"I'm sorry-"

"Stop apologizing, damn it!"

Jooheon stomped out of the room, leaving the members in bewilderment. Regaining his composure, Shownu silently asked their maknae to go back to sleep.

Changkyun nodded and was about to hop back onto his bed when Wonho stopped him.

"Sleep in mine. If you fall again, the impact wouldn't be that much." The elder gestured to his bed in the lower bunk.

Changkyun nodded once again, a bit shaken by Jooheon's outburst to mutter any words.

When the members are sure that Changkyun was tucked in and off to dreamland, they retreated back to the living room, where Jooheon sat, hands wrapped around himself.

"Jooheon ah..."'

"Why is he always apologizing when it's me who mistreated him?" a tear slipped down the rapper's cheeks.

The members watched, not knowing what to do.

"Yesterday, when I finally caught up to him -hiccup- He thought I was one of his Nubility members and told me -hiccup- what should he do, and that -hiccup- " Jooheon took a deep breath. "Everyone hates him."

Jooheon wrapper his arms around his torso even tighter as he buried his head in between his arms.

"Oh, Jooheony..." Minhyuk made the first move to engulf the rapper in his arms completely. 

"I feel so freaking guilty that I made him think that I hated him, when I was just being a complete asshole." Jooheon's next line broke the members' heart. Wonho stepped forward to put a hand on the younger's shoulder.

"We had all been a di- I mean we were all really inconsiderate," Wonho quickly changed his sentence after earning a smack from Kihyun. "But, what's done is done and the best we can do now is make it up to him, Jooheon ah."

The members nodded, agreeing. 

"Plus, you said he thought you were one of his former members." Shownu finally spoke up.

All eyes focused on him as they anticipated what the elder has to say.

"That means that he was probably about to meet Taehyuk, which I believe he was about to agree to debuting with them." 

The others waited for the eldest to make the link.

"You stopped him, Jooheon ah. You stopped Changkyun from leaving us. You did a great job." Shownu finished off, and the members started to nod one by one, understanding what he meant.

Jooheon wiped away the tears roughly with the sleeve of his sweater. "I did?"

Shownu nodded.

"What else did you guys do yesterday, anyway?" Curiosity was apparent in the shortest member's eyes.

"I apologized - "

"Look at you! You already did a great job. And you apologized!" Minhyuk happily rubbed himself against the rapper while complimenting him.

"But the thing is, he forgave me before I even really apologized."

Silence dominated the room, before Jooheon continued quietly.

"I think that you guys should apologize before acting all nice to him, because he still thinks that we hate him." 

The members listened just as quietly, until a soft whimpering could be heard from Wonho's room. They exchanged glances at each other.

"I'll go get him." Jooheon muttered before wriggling out of Minhyuk's grasp and rushing to the room.

The older members threw themselves onto the couch as they let everything sink in.

"Look at us, even the maknaes are more matured." Wonho stated humorlessly as they all stared at the white wall.

"I know, right?" Minhyuk quietly muttered.

"Now, let me suggest an idea that would blow your minds."

"What?" The shortest asked the tallest in anticipation.

"Let's go back to sleep."

SMACK

"Ow!!"

"I think he's right though, let's just sleep first then we will all apologize one by one to our maknae for our attitude towards him all this while." Shownu commented.

And that was how they all fell asleep on the couch, entangled within each other.

********

Jooheon awoke to himself snuggling beside the maknae. Grinning at the side of the youngest peacefully asleep, he watched him slowly breathe in and out. 

He felt the urge to do two things - one, to squeeze the younger's cheeks tightly and yell, "CUTE!" and two, to pee. And the latter was extremely, extremely urgent.

So the rapper reluctantly detached himself from the grasp of the youngest. Seeing the younger shiver a little due to the lack of heat source that was Jooheon, he replaced himself with Changkyun's baymax soft toy. 

Grinning at the sight of the maknae squeezing the white soft toy tightly in his embrace, Jooheon retreated to the bathroom. He would have loved to stay and watch, but apparently his body system just wouldn't let him.

Approaching the door, he tried to open it only to realize it was locked.

"Hyung?" He knocked the door. Repetitively.

"What." He heard Wonho's voice call back.

"Hurry up because I really need to pee." 

"Sure."

Jooheon could literally hear the smirk Wonho probably had on his face right now.

"Aish, you better hurry up!" Jooheon tried to hold on the urgency as he grew more impatient, though only mere seconds passed.

"Use the other bathroom!" The elder shouted right back, mockingly.

"I don't think I can hold it until then! You better come out right now OR I will replace all your ripped jeans with normal baggy jeans-"

The door swung open and a fresh Wonho exited.

"Don't touch my jeans." He threatened as he walked past the rapper, before calling out, in an obnoxiously high pitched voice, "I really need to pee!"

Ignoring the elder, Jooheon barged into the toilet. 

\-----

"I really really really would appreciate it if you woke up right this instant, Hyungwon."

These words uttered by the shortest were the first thing Jooheon heard after coming out of the bathroom.

The tallest groaned and shifted to the other side of the couch. Kihyun let out a deep sigh as he moved to the other side too.

"Wake up." 

Poke

Groan.

"Hyungwon ah, wake up!"

Poke

Groan.

"I swear if you don't wake up this instant, I will whoop your tiny ass."

Another poke

Another groan.

"My ass isn't tiny." Hyungwon protested and let out a huff as he realized he couldn't go back to sleep anymore.

"You're really annoying," he glared at Kihyun.

"Hear that every morning, still don't care." Kihyun sing-songed. 

Jooheon saw Hyungwon mutter something incoherent and knew it was probably foul language since Kihyun smacked the tallest roughly on the back of his head and hissed, "language!"

Deciding it was best not intervene in the conversation, the rapper made his way to the room and was about to walk past the maknae when he noticed the maknae was talking on the phone. A different maknae from the cute puppy he was in the morning. 

"I wasn't!" The maknae yelled at the person on the phone.

Jooheon halted in his steps. This was probably the first time he heard the younger shout.

"I said I wasn't!"

The older rapper tried to make sense of what was going on as he silently watched Changkyun's breathing got heavier.

"I wasn't promised to debu-" That was it. Jooheon took big strides forward and snatched the phone away from the younger, who spun around with horror in his eyes.

"Hyung, I can expla-"

"Save it." Jooheon cut him off as he ended the call, secretly taking note of the number on the screen.

Jooheon kept the phone in his hands as he stared the younger. "Was that them?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Changkyun looked away from the intense eye contact Jooheon was giving him.

"What, you're not going to tell me what happened?"

Ignoring the silence, Jooheon continued. "You're just going to let yourself be on the receiving end of their accusations like a pathetic fool?" 

He seemed to have pushed the wrong buttons for he shifted uncomfortably at the younger's next words.

"Yes, I'm pathetic, so what? What can you even do?" Changkyun let out a humorless laugh. "You can't do anything anyways, what's the point of knowing everything?"

"Wait, Changkyun I didn't mean to-" But he was met with the sound of the slamming of the door. 

He stood in his place, running his fingers through his hair as he heard Kihyun's slightly raised voice from the living room. "Hey, Changkyun, where are you going?"

Jooheon let out a huge sigh as he heard the main door slam shut too.

Moments later, like he had expected, the short vocalist peeked in from the door.

"What did you do-"

"I didn't do anything!" Jooheon threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Good job, you evoked an emotion in him. I've never seen him so worked up before, he was always so quiet I was starting to think he had Shownu hyung's muscles stuck in his throat or something." Minhyuk pushed past the door to put Jooheon's hands down.

Kihyun snorted. "Shownu hyung's muscles? What about the fact that we were so mean to him?"

Jooheon stared at the two.

"Someone better explain to me why on earth is my blanket missing?" The tallest member stuck his head into the room.

"I took it." Wonho pushed past him into the room, lying back down into his bed.

"Why would you do such an evil thing? You disappo-"

"It was cold, your blanket is the thickest in this dorm, I took it." Wonho shrugged.

The rapper ignored his members, and instead picked up Changkyun's phone from the floor where he had dropped it.

Frowning at the text message, his stomach lurched when he realized what had happened.

On the screen, was a text message from the Nubility leader.

"Practice is next week at 1pm. P.s, the others were so ecstatic that you're back with us now. They almost broke the windows yesterday because Jeongwook was swinging a chair about. Yes, a chair."

\-----

Changkyun fumed as he stomped down the stairs. How dare Jooheon call him pathetic. He didn't understand why every inch of his body was raging so much, but he knew it was always Jooheon. Jooheon who insulted his rapping on purpose. Jooheon who offended him. Jooheon who was so nosy.

I'll show him flawless rap. Changkyun thought angrily as his fist tightened. Jogging towards the vocal room, he entered into the area where the mics were. Holding the lyrics sheet in one hand, he started belting out the lyrics will undying rage.

Twenty times, he must had repeated his part at least twenty times before he started to feel more calm. This was why Changkyun liked rapping and signed up for it. It never fails to relax him. 

Even when his throat was hoarse and he has an urge to drink some water, like then.

But while he gulped down every last drop of the bottled water, tears welled up in his eyes. Maybe Jooheon was right. Maybe everyone was right when they said that he was undeserving of his chance to debut. 

Maybe he really had no talent and was not worthy of debuting. 

Maybe, he had always been that lousy but the company just wanted more drama in the show to attract more fame.

He was so deep in his negative thoughts that he didn't notice the door opening and a frighteningly familiar figure stepping in.

The figure smirked.

**********

Sometimes Changkyun understands why the members hate him. Firstly, he was a stuck up jerk who stole their friend's spot to debut. Secondly, he has panic issues and sometimes let his anger get the best of him. Thirdly, he was just plain stupid.

The last brought him to this state, you see.

Changkyun nervously shifted his leg as he pretended to be tough. "What are you doing here?" He whispered into the microphone, his gaze never leaving the man seated on the black chair.

The other's laughter boomed into the mic room, making the rapper flinch.

The man snapped his fingers, and the usual four accomplices entered.

"Don't try to run, we locked the doors."

Changkyun tried to channel his anxiety but failed miserably. He could feel his heart rate going faster, as if he was on a roller coaster.

"Changkyunniee."

The rapper froze, silently cringing at how the man dragged out his name in a sickening sick manner.

"We're leaving tomorrow, so we thought we would give you a little farewell gift."

Changkyun's heart rate thumped loudly through his chest as he feared for the worst.

"Get him, boys."

\-----

Jooheon ran through the company hallways frantically looking for his younger member. Where the hell is he? He had searched practically everywhere. 

The members had all split up, Hyungwon waiting at home in case the maknae came back (or, in Jooheon's opinion, the members had thought the tallest would get lost himself), Wonho and Kihyun roaming the streets, Minhyuk checking the dorm area, and Jooheon and Shownu in the company.

He had received no calls from the others, and he could feel the negativity behind his thoughts slowly creeping up. He ran his fingers through his hair. But the frustration was a cover-up for what he actually felt - fear. His mind was racing with negative thoughts while he felt as if there was an impending doom. 

That was when he heard a loud scream.

It sounded familiar. It was deep - Changkyun. 

Jooheon immediately turned towards the sound, realizing it was from a darkened, silent corridor. As he inched closer, he could make out the silhouette of a few people surrounding someone lying on the floor.

"They're letting him debut because he bribed them!"

Jooheon heard the shout of someone, as well as the helpless cry from the person lying on the floor. He silently prayed that it wasn't the person he was looking for.

But it was.

It was sickening, really, how these people were about to mercilessly belt a punch on the twenty year old. It broke Jooheon's heart to see the boy- his maknae, so defenseless against the predators. It was only when one of the guy raised his fist alarmingly high and about to meet it with Changkyun's face did Jooheon snap back to reality and did the first thing he thought of.

"Stop it!" He yelled at them, his voice echoing around the corridors. 

He's breath hitched as he waited for them to react.

He was almost about to bolt for his life when he realized that they might behave the opposite of what he had pictured them to, until he saw the raised fist slowly but steadily being lowered. His breath escaped his mouth as he watched the group finally scatter, leaving Changkyun lying alone in a heap on the ground.

Jogging quickly towards Changkyun who was lying on the floor, exhausted and sweating buckets, he quickly hoisted the younger up into a sitting position.

"Are you okay?"

Jooheon had never felt so relieved with a slight nod.

Shownu appeared a few moments later, much to Jooheon's relief (because he wasn't that strong enough to carry Changkyun back home). 

Upon making sure that both the rappers were fine, Shownu proceeded to piggy-back Changkyun carefully, for the youngest seemed too tired and frightened to even walk.

\-----

Upon reaching home, they placed Changkyun carefully and softly onto Hyungwon's bed, which was the softest and comfiest, and left him alone to rest and recollect himself. When they ensured that Changkyun was sleeping soundly, they exited the room quietly, to be greeted with the other sweating members whom Hyungwon had called to come back.

Wonho has honestly never felt so much rage building up in him before. He was thoroughly angry and had the real urge to beat someone up badly, upon hearing how Changkyun almost got beaten up. The other members had noticed how his fist was clenched tightly while he watched Kihyun fuss over the youngest.

He felt like punching an entire wall down, but had just enough self-control to refrain himself. After Kihyun was done tucking Changkyun in, they all piled up on the couch one after another.

"I feel like punching those jerks, our baby don't deserve this treatment." Wonho voiced his inner rage, his gaze still burning holes into the innocent wall. 

"Oh, Shownu already did." The tallest commented as he sighed and stretched his long body.

"What?"

"How else did you think he rescued Jookyun? It's not like he could just flick them away with his finger."

"I'll flick your forehead, brat." The shortest clearly did not appreciate Hyungwon's sarcasm.

"Jookyun? Is that a ship name for me and Changkyun?"

"I didn't hit them, they were already gone by the time I reached the scene. I think Jooheon hit them."

"Jooheon! You hit somebody! Violence is never the answer, child!" Kihyun exclaimed in an exaggerated manner as he gasped.

"I didn't hit anybody! I just shouted!"

"I guess your face was frightening enough to scare those jerks away." Wonho finally let his anger evaporated with his attempt at humor. 

"But they're leaving tomorrow, aren't they? I heard the company found out and is firing them." Minhyuk, always the optimistic one, asked, ignoring the others as he directed the question straight at the oldest.

Shownu nodded.

"Let's report the matter to the managers then. Maybe they'll let Changkyun rest for a few days." Minhyuk continued.

"Again, Hyungwon, that's what you call a bright idea."

"What does that even have to do with me?"

"I'm just giving you examples for you to follow, since, ya'know, you're not bright."

\-----

Kihyun sighed at the tallest male's words when the manager told them they couldn't rest long because their debut was approaching.

"Nope, it's gonna be Kihyun hyung." Hyungwon had announced lazily.

"Oh come on! I need the practice too."

But his protest was ignored by the rest as they all took one last check on their rappers before heading to the living room, leaving the main vocalist behind for he just had to tuck the youngest male in once again.

But he halted in his steps when he saw the scene before his eyes.

*********

Changkyun was shaking, his breathing heavy and his shirt soaked with sweat. Soft, detached whines escaped his mouth as he unconsciously frowned. And he hadn't even woken up.

Kihyun could literally feel his heart break at the sight before him. He wondered what nightmare the younger male could be having, that had him shaken up like that.

Deciding that he couldn't watch Changkyun suffer like that anymore, the vocalist was about to wake Changkyun up when the latter spoke.

"I - I didn't bribe anyone."

Kihyun froze.

"I really didn't bribe anyone." Changkyun repeated, his voice still shaky, his frown still intact. 

Kihyun took a step froward. "Changkyu-"

"Why wouldn't anyone believe me?" Changkyun's voice were gaining volume and Kihyun noticed how hard the younger was gripping his the blanket. His knuckles had turned white.

That was what it took for Kihyun to finally snap out of his trance.

Taking bigger steps towards the younger, his hands reached for Changkyun's shoulders to shake them violently while his mouth opened to call out the rapper's name.

But before he could even mutter the younger's name, Changkyun let out a sob.

"I REALLY DIDN'T BRIBE ANYONE." Changkyun cried. And that was when Kihyun noticed the tears slipping out of the younger's eyes.

Kihyun paused. 

Changing his initial plan, he shifted his position and somehow fitted himself into the small area beside Changkyun. Tugging the younger male towards him, he gently stroked Changkyun's hair.

And he hugged the younger male even tighter, when Changkyun's eyes shot open and he tried to pull away.

When Changkyun finally stopped resisting, Kihyun muttered softly, "I believe you, Changkyun."

Changkyun froze, and Kihyun tried to ignore how the rapper's body stiffened. 

"I believe you. You didn't bribe anyone."

After a moment's silence, a smile blossomed on the vocalist's face when he noticed the tension in Changkyun's body evaporating away.

"Even if everyone else don't believe you, just know that I do, okay?"

Changkyun nodded meekly.

And just as Kihyun was about to fall asleep, the previous frustration about the members' leaving him to care for Changkyun gone, he heard a softer voice.

"Thank you, hyung."

\------------

Jooheon could barely practice without thinking about the text message from Taehyuk to Changkyun. He hadn't brought up the matter yet, or told the other members about it, because Changkyun was asleep before he left to practice and he didn't want the members to worry.

And so he tried to keep it a secret throughout the practice, though questions were raging in his mind.

He wondered if the younger was sincere about his promise to debut with Nubility.

Or if he could somehow stop Changkyun.

And it was at that moment, at 10.47pm in the practice room, during Changkyun's rap at the ending of the 24th replay of the song, did Jooheon realize something.

He liked Changkyun.

And he wanted him to stay.

The rapper immediately halted his movements while the music belted on. Ignoring the confused looks from the other members, he dashed out of the room, towards the dormitory.

The place where Changkyun would be at.

\-----------

Despite his heavy panting, Jooheon continued jogging after pushing past the door into the dormitory. Ignoring Kihyun's confused question, he headed straight towards Changkyun's room.

Entering the room and still desperately trying to catch his breath, his gaze landed onto the person he was looking for.

"Hyung?" Jooheon's eyes met Changkyun's and he simply stared at the younger while Changkyun raised his eyebrows, bewildered at the sight of sweat trickling off Jooheon's forehead and the elder's hair sticking in every direction.

"What happened? Did you run?"

"Did you already promised to join them?" Jooheon ignored the younger's question, as well as his own heart pounding heavily in his chest.

Changkyun froze. 

His eyes widened, as he searched Jooheon's face for any emotions. 

There was none.

"What's going on?" 

Jooheon ignored Kihyun's query as he asked again, his eyes never leaving Changkyun. "Did you already decide to leave us?"

Changkyun looked away, escaping from the depth of Jooheon's eyes.

"Yes." He found it easier to answer, now that he wasn't looking at Jooheon.

Changkyun awaited for the accusation, the blame or the sigh of relief.

But it never came.

"Don't go."

"Sorry?" Changkyun couldn't help but turn back to return his gaze back towards Jooheon.

As if to confirm his doubts, Jooheon was looking at him intensely, his eyes begging.

"Stay." The elder rapper's voice was soft and hoarse. His breathing had slowed down too, and silence dominated the room.

Jooheon's eyes closed shut.

"Please."

********

Changkyun averted his gaze once again. 

"But, I can't. I already promised Nubility and -"

"Don't go, please." Jooheon practically pleaded as he tried to will Changkyun to look at him.

But the younger never did.

Instead, with his eyes still looking at the ground, Changkyun replied. "I'm sorry."

Jooheon let his gaze linger on the younger, before he muttered, this time without any emotions, "fine."

Without waiting for the younger male to reply, he turned on his heel and pushed past the other members who had just gathered outside the room.

\---------

Changkyun was glad that none of the other members brought up the matter again, though, he noticed the tiny changes. He noticed whenever the members would casually sling their arms around his neck, or when they pile up food in his bowl, or when they would subtly make sure he was tucked in each night.

He was glad for the gestures, though he never mentioned it.

That morning though, the affection got a little overboard.

He groaned, before his eyelids fluttered open, for him to be met with Minhyuk's face from a close proximity of just 3 centimeters away.

Ignoring the maknae's startled shout, Minhyuk had simply asked, "Do you think I should dye my hair blonde?"

"No." Jooheon called from the other side of the room just as Changkyun replied with a "yes".

Minhyuk grinned, completely ignoring the elder rapper. "Right? I'm going to ask the managers if I could turn my hair blonde."

"I think it'll look good."

"Say what you honestly think, Changkyun." Changkyun met Minhyuk's eyes.

"I really think you would look good with blonde hair."

"He's lying!"

"Shut up, Jooheon, and Changkyun, really just say what you honestly think."

"Really?"

"Yes, just say it."

Changkyun took a deep breath.

"Ithinkyouwouldlooklikeaballofsunshinebutthat'sokayyou'reliterallyaballofsunshineanyway."

"Sorry?"

"I think you would look like a ball of sunshine but that's okay, you're literally a ball of sunshine anyway."

"That's my boy!" The older had said gleefully, before ruffling Changkyun's hair.

"I'm not a dog, hyung." The maknae replied upon feeling his initial awkwardness with the two members evaporate.

"Sure seem like one." The other rapper had commented, causing a smile to blossom on the youngest's face.

It seemed like the wrong thing to say, though, because the youngest member gained a lot of confidence from it. A lot.

"It's because I'm just that adorable, right?"

Jooheon had fallen off the bed that very moment.

In between fits of laughter from Jooheon's fall, Changkyun couldn't help but feel Minhyuk's words expressing themselves as a indirect apology. Even if it wasn't, Changkyun had forgiven the vocalist already.

\-----

"Chae Hyungwon, wake up."

A small smile played on the members' lips as they hear the same noises coming from the same room again.

"Chae Hyungwon, wake up!"

The sound of the utensils on the plates could be heard as the members continued to devour their breakfast.

"CHAE HYUNGWON, YOU BRAT, WAKE UP!"

A small giggle escaped Changkyun's lips.

"CHAE! HYUNG! WON! WAKE! UP!"

But just before the maknae could cover it up with a cough or something, the others had joined in, erupting into laughter as the sound of the tallest member's groan could be heard.

Moments later, he appeared at the doorway, grunting and complaining as always as he stomped to the table and started to munch on the food himself.

The shortest member appeared soon after, grinning as he too settled down, beside the maknae.

"Eat up, you need to grow taller." The vocalist had said, passing more eggs to the youngest.

"But he's taller than you-"

"I wasn't talking to you."

"You're shorter than-"

"Keep talking and I won't cook you ramen anymore."

Wonho kept silent after that.

Changkyun suppressed a smile as he gratefully accepted the egg and immediately shoved it down his throat, only to receive more food afterwards.

He was grateful, really, until Kihyun started giving him more vegetables.

He groaned once again as he plate was supplied with yet another spoonful of carrots.

"Hyung, please. Stop giving me vegeta-"

"You need to grow taller and healthier." The elder reasoned once again, pushing another spoonful of broccoli onto his plate.

Sighing, the maknae forcefully ate up the vegetables (every one of it since Kihyun was scrutinizing him like a hawk).

"Ki hyung, you do know that our maknae is healthier and taller than you?" The tallest member questioned.

"I can't seem to remember when I asked for your opinion. Oh wait, I didn't."

Though they continued to bicker, Changkyun couldn't help but lose in the fight to suppress the growing smile. Hyungwon had used 'our maknae', instead of the usual 'the boy' or 'the kid'. It was such a simple change, yet it meant so much more for the younger rapper.

And so he watched wistfully at the two while they bickered on, wishing that he could be like that with one member of the group too, always at each other's throats but secretly caring for one another.

While everyone continued munching (and Hyungwon throwing a broccoli at Kihyun), Changkyun could feel the heartfelt apology from Kihyun through his actions. And the younger forgave him readily while he ducked from the incoming broccoli (because Hyungwon's aim is really off).

\------

The group finished up their breakfast quickly. Though the maknaes were given two days off, they wanted to practice together too. Despite the violent objections, they were let off easily with Jooheon's aegyo (which caused an upturn of lips of the other members) and Changkyun's matured promise that they would rest whenever they needed it.

"kkukkungie, wash dishes with your favorite hyung?"

Changkyun looked up, straight into the eyes of Wonho. "Favorite? What made you have such a misunderstanding?."

"It's not a misunderstanding, it's a fact. Besides, if I'm not your favorite hyung, then I would be your favorite oppa." 

Changkyun cringed at the last word.

"Well?"

"Okay, since I'm about to die from the cringing so hard, might as well be useful before my last breath."

Wonho chuckled before carrying up the leftover plates to the sink.

They were speedily cleaning up the dishes, until Changkyun accidentally poured soap all over the floor.

"Aigoo, kkukkungie!" Wonho teased, smiling as his delicate hands lathered soap onto the dishes.

"Shut up!" Changkyun replied just as jokingly, scoping up some bubbles and dumping them onto the vocalist's head.

"Hey! My hair!"

Wonho glared at the younger. Changkyun almost stopped laughing when he recognized the same glare everyone had gave him back then, before he could even have the courage of speaking comfortably with the members.

Noticing the younger's smile slowly deflating, Wonho did the first thing that came to his mind: dumping more soap onto the rapper's hair.

That seemed to do the trick, for the grin on the maknae was back and bigger than ever, as both of them threw soap at each other and tried to dodge, though the kitchen became a huge mess and they had to clean up more mess, and probably get scolded by Kihyun too.

But it was worth it. For the younger's smile mattered the most to Wonho then.

\-----

After dragging Kihyun back into the living room to prevent him from kicking Wonho or Changkyun, Shownu collapsed onto the coach.

"The guy is tough despite his small size." He grunted. The other members chuckled and watched as Wonho and Changkyun tiptoed past a mad Kihyun to the furthest end of the couch.

"Kkukkung, do you still want to come practice with us? You seem tired." Wonho asked as he ruffled the said person's hair.

Pushing away Wonho's hand, Changkyun grinned. "Yes."

"I don't think that's a good idea, maknae."

Changkyun jutted out his lips as he swatted away Hyungwon's hands from his hair.

"It's okay, Changkyunie, we can go practice our rap instead." The other rapper called.

Changkyun brightened up immediately.

"Sure, hyung- can you not?" The youngest turned and glared at the tallest, who was giggling away with Wonho, pushing Hyungwon's hand away from his hair again.

"He started it first." The tallest childishly pointed at the other vocalist.

"What?? But you-"

"Wonho."

The said person practically froze at the growl from Kihyun.

"I growl, growl ,growl." Wonho sang wholeheartedly after a second's pause. (A/N Exo's growl reference)

"If you don't get away," Changkyun joined in with the vocalist.

"You might get hurt~" The entire group chorused while Kihyun crossed his arms and huffed.

"E." Jooheon grinned as he exchanged gazes with the maknae.

"X." The youngest's smile stretched from ear to ear as he continued the song.

"O." The other members beamed at their rappers, only for their big smiles and moment to be ruined by the shortest.

"Enough! I'll smack you, you brats!"

"Run!"

And the group scattered at the command of Shownu.

*******

"What's wrong?" Jooheon asked, his words laced with worry as he stared at the younger rapper.

I'm not good enough.

I can't dance as well as Shownu or Hyungwon.

I can't even rap properly.

I'm ugly as freak.

I'm not good enough.

Just, not good enough.

He desperately wanted to answer honestly, but for some reason, he didn't. He didn't want to burden Jooheon or any of the members anymore. And so he just smiled weakly. "It's nothing."

They were going through the song alone in the studio for the third time, when Changkyun just spaced out suddenly. 

Jooheon frowned. "You know, you can tell me anything."

Changkyun shook his head. "Nah, it's really nothing."

I'm not good enough.

"Okay, but I just want you to know that your rap is actually quite good, okay? I was...just moody and unreasonable the other day."

I'm not good enough.

"Seriously, don't take my words to heart, I was being really mean the other day, Changkyun ah."

I'm not good enough.

"I...I need to take a break for a moment. Sorry." Changkyun quickly excused himself out of the confined room, shielding the elder rapper from the single tear slipping down his cheeks.

I'm not good enough.

Jooheon stared after the younger, contemplating whether he should follow after the younger.

Instead, he sat back down into the seat and started practicing himself, while waiting for the maknae to come back.

He never came back.

\----

I'm not good enough.

Changkyun raced down the corridor, barely catching his breath as he stumbled into a familiar male.

"Changkyun? Are you okay?" The shortest vocalist's concerned gaze landed onto the maknae. He was taking a toilet break from the dance practice when the younger rapper bumped into him.

Changkyun didn't answer. He couldn't.

Noticing the tear streaked cheeks of the younger, Kihyun quickly enveloped him into his embrace. 

"It's fine, really." 

Kihyun held the younger in his arms, trying not to tear up himself as he hear the rapper repeat the same thoughts in his mind over and over again softly. He didn't cry, out of fear that the action will dampen the mood of the already shaking rapper.

Instead, he tightened the hug, burying the younger into his scent.

"Changkyunie, you're fine, you have us, all six of us supporting you." Kihyun mumbled into the hair of the younger as he gently let his hand go up and down continuously on the back of the younger.

"And don't ever repeat those thoughts again, you hear me? I will personally whoop you. They're absolutely wrong, Changkyun, you're good enough. You made it into the team. Our team. You're talented, okay?" 

The vocalist smiled a little as he felt the younger nod his head. Through his closed eyes, Kihyun couldn't help but feel the wall between the maknae and the members evaporate, by just a little.

But sometimes, a little was just enough.

\------

The duo returned back to the dorm, after Kihyun had sent a text for everyone to return too.

"Kihyun, 'you better come back quick or I won't cook you ramen ever again' is a really polite thing to say, especially via text, isn't it?" Wonho grumbled as he stepped into the dorm. 

He paused in his steps though, when the sight of the maknae cuddling with the shortest vocalist on the sofa caught his eye.

"Neither is 'I will pull all the feathers from your favorite pillow if you don't come back to the dorm right this instant ', Kihyu - what the hell?" The tallest's sentence was interrupted when he bumped into Wonho, barely stopping himself from falling. He flailed his arms pathetically, before grasping the nearest thing he could grab - the table cloth of the dining table. 

It didn't help, either, that Wonho barely moved a muscle when the taller male basically high-fived the floor with his face.

The other members still outside the flat cringed at the sound of plates scattering and shattering onto the floor as they braced themselves for the very worst. 

"Chae Hyungwon?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I swear, hyung please don't kill my pillow, I will clean it up, please - "

"Then go do it."

"What?"

'You said you would clean it up, why aren't you doing it?" Kihyun practically growled.

"I'll help you." 

Everyone's eyes landed onto the maknae who slowly detached himself from the fuming vocalist, who shivered a little at the loss of body heat from the younger.

They traded silent gazes with one another, before Wonho clapped his hands.

"Go, go, go! I'm hungry."

"Yes, boss." Hyungwon muttered sarcastically.

\-----

It's been two minutes and twenty three seconds (not like Hyungwon counted or anything). Two minutes and twenty four seconds, and the tallest and the youngest has yet to speak a word with each other. They awkwardly stood around the table, listening to the members talk in the living room and giggling every once in awhile.

"Kihyun actually threatened to pour spiders on me in my sleep to get me to come back here. The scary thing is he didn't seem to be joking." The elder rapper announced as the members watched Kihyun start cooking in the kitchen.

"I can hear you!" The short vocalist yelled back.

"He told me he would tie my hands and legs up permanently! Then how am I supposed to cuddle?" Minhyuk huffed as he crossed his arms.

"How can you tell hyung to come back home quickly or you'll bite my entire arm off?" Shownu said loudly back at Kihyun as he leaned back and crossed his arms.

"To be honest, Shownu hyung is nothing without his biceps. I won't be scared of him if he didn't have those fierce guys on his body." Hyungwon commented, earning a chuckle from the youngest.

"You're scared of Shownu hyun-"

"Hey! What are you doing?" The tallest let out a shout just as Changkyun (who decided to be productive,) squatted down and reached for the broken shards of porcelain.

Hyungwon quickly hoisted Changkyun back up, before bending down to pick them up himself.

"Are you dumb or dumb?" Hyungwon chided as he carefully collected them in his hands.

"Hyungwon, Changkyunie is smarter than you, you know." Wonho called from the living room.

"Shut up!" The tallest yelled back before he hissed in pain.

Changkyun tiptoed and saw a line of blood escaping from the tallest's flesh. He gasped, earning the attention of the shortest vocalist.

"Hey, what stupid act did you do again?" Kihyun came rushing to the two boys, wiping his hands on his apron on the way. 

"Oh!" Kihyun exclaimed, grabbing Hyungwon and dragging him to the living room after disposing the shards of porcelain. 

Hyungwon was forced to sit down while Kihyun mustered some basic first aid on him. 

"I swear, Chae Hyungwon, you're literally the dumbest guy I've ever met. And I've met Wonho."

"Hey! Why bring me into this?"

Hyungwon grinned a little, despite his urge to scratch Kihyun due to the pain in his hands caused by Kihyun dabbing medicine on it.

Everyone, except Shownu, noticed the figure still at the dining table. The figure who watched guiltily, cursing and blaming himself as he slowly shrunk away into the shadows. It seemed like a rock has been thrown at the wall between the figure and the members, only for another wall to erupt and form a fiercer protection between them.

Shownu saw it all. He glanced at the retreating figure of the maknae, and made a mental note to himself.

_I'll throw a huge rock to knock down those walls if I have to._

******

"Changkyun?"

The rapper looked up to see the eldest vocalist standing at the door.

"Hyung, yes?" Changkyun acknowledged the older's presence.

"I'll like to talk to you."

Noticing the younger stiffening, Shownu quickly added, "Relax, I just want to talk to you as members of the same group."

"Yes." Changkyun let out a soft breath as he tried to throw the tension in his body out.

Shownu slowly approached the younger and sat next to him on the bed.

"I just want to start out by saying that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not helping you since the beginning, that I let you suffer by yourself. As the oldest, I should have stopped them or something."

"It's not your faul-"

"Let me finish. I've failed my job as the oldest, but I'll try to make it up to you."

"You don't have to-"

"Changkyun." Shownu places his right hand onto Changkyun's left thigh. The sudden contact caused the younger to jump, not used to the eldest's touch.

Shownu noticed but didn't move away.

"I'm really sorry for everything that happened, and I apologize on behalf of the other members as well."

Changkyun nodded in disbelief, wanting to tell the elder it was alright and that he was forgiven, but feared his voice would betray him. 

"You're a part of us now, and I wouldn't have it any other way, alright? Things won't be the same without you."

This time, a small smile made its way onto the rapper's face as Shownu slowly and awkwardly wrapper the younger into a hug. 

"I just wanted you to know that your talent got you here, okay? I- We don't believe the rumors."

Changkyun smiled against Shownu's chest. That was when he noticed how stiff the vocalist was being in the hug.

"Hyung, you need to improve on hugging people."

"Shush, I'm just naturally awkward around people."

"You mean shy?"

"Shush."

That was the moment Changkyun realizes two things.

One, that maybe all this while, he just needed someone to believe that he really didn't bribe anyone and two, Shownu's arms were really soft.

Shownu kind of regrets, to a certain extent, initiating the hug. Only to a certain extent.

After all, it was that very awkward hug which broke the wall between them even more.

\-----------

Changkyun just got out of the shower and was drying his hair with the towel, when he saw Hyungwon silently brisk walking back to his room and flopping onto his bed. Thinking nothing of it, Changkyun continued his way to his own room, only to be greeted by Jooheon who was on his bed, clutching an Ipad.

"Changkyunie, want to watch this with me?" He gestured towards the device in his hands.

But before the youngest could reply, quick footsteps could be heard thundering on the floor tiles and a Wonho appeared soon after.

"I want to watch too! Let me watch."

Jooheon sighed but didn't protest, as he made space for the two.

"Ah hyung, there's not enough space! It's so squeezy because of you!" The elder rapper finally complained when Wonho literally squashed the two rappers against the wall.

"Nonsense, I think we're all comfortable. Start the movie already." Wonho replied, much to the amusement of the youngest.

Jooheon grumbled but did as he was told and the trio plunged themselves into the movie. 

\---

"He died! Why did he die?" Wonho barely managed to sob out.

"There, there." Changkyun tried to comfort him by running his hand down the elder's spine, but it was difficult, considering the six other bodies surrounding them.

Upon finding out that a movie was ongoing, the other members had started to join them one by one, Hyungwon being the last, until Kihyun finally made them all go to the living room to watch it because "a single bed isn't made to hold seven grown men" (Wonho had protested saying that it was "six grown men since Kihyun was the size of a kid" but he was given the death glare which shut him up)

When the said character first appeared, Wonho had even commented that the kid was cute, but the very kid passed away in the end, which explains his crying at the moment.

"Wonho, it's just a movie, that kid didn't really die." Shownu tried to be realistic but it didn't work.

"He died! He was so cute, why did he have to die!"

"Hyung, I think you're overreacting." Minhyuk tried to console the elder. The keyword being 'tried'.

"He died and you tell me I'm overreacting. He died!" 

While the members watch Wonho's fuss, they fail to notice the tallest slowly sneaking back into his room. Everyone but the maknae.

When Wonho had finally calmed down (Kihyun had to cook him ramen), Changkyun went back to his room to keep the Ipad, because the other's just left it on the couch and Changkyun was afraid someone would sit on it and break it. He learnt that anything can happen with those guys when Hyungwon had somehow lost the potted plant in the bathroom once.

While carrying it, the youngest turned it on and fiddled around with it, accidentally going to the 'history' page. He was about to turn off the device when he noticed a page, labelled 'Hyungwon'. Curious as to what the page says, Changkyun clicked on it and waited for the page to set up. When he did, the youngest finally realized what happened.

"Why is Hyungwon even debuting? He can't sing nor dance?"

"Is Starship seriously choosing a person based on his looks?"

"Seokwon would have been a much better choice."

"Hyungwon should just leave."

Changkyun paused as memories of Hyungwon being off that day flashed in his mind. Throwing the device carelessly onto Jooheon's bed, he was about to check on Hyungwon when a sigh escaped him instead.

The device bounced on the bed, did a triple flip and flopped onto the ground.

Literally.

Changkyun retreated back to set the device carefully onto Jooheon's bed, before finally exiting the bedroom.

*********

"Hyung?"

The maknae poked his head through the wall, seeing the tallest lying in bed. He entered when the elder made no noise of disapproval, and laid down next to Hyungwon.

Changkyun didn't know what to do. He knew he had to comfort the elder, but didn't know how. He was never that good at making others feel better, but he wanted Hyungwon to know that he had his back because he knew how hard it was to receive hate comments.

He had experienced it himself, when he just entered No. Mercy. That was one of the reasons why Changkyun had stayed away from the internet world, only using it to watch movies etc.

Right then, he thought of initiating skinship to let the taller feel better, but hesitated. We're not even that close, he thought.

"Hey, if you're going to hug me, just do it already." The elder's hoarse voice startled Changkyun a little, but as soon as it sunk into Changkyun's mind, he wrapped his arms around the elder gently and causing just minimal skinship between them.

Hyungwon let out a huff, before turning around. He glared at the younger, before tugging the younger's arms together as he shifted back to his original position. This caused the younger to be pulled even closer to Hyungwon (so close that Hyungwon's back was pressed against Changkyun completely) and Changkyun's arms were then fully enclosed around Hyungwon.

Changkyun gulped.

He shifted a little, feeling embarrassed about the position and wondering if the elder was even feeling comfortable like that, but Hyungwon's words halted him.

"Stay like that. Please."

Changkyun silently agreed, noticing the elder's voice breaking a little at the end.

"I'm not good enough, am I?" Hyungwon finally spoke after minutes of silence.

Changkyun took in a deep breath.

"I can't do anything right."

Changkyun tightened his grasp around the elder, as if squeezing him would stop him from the negative thoughts.

"I'm such a failu-"

"Hyung, if you don't shut up right now, I will whoop you so hard, you'll become shorter than Kihyun hyung."

Changkyun's initial courage dissipated and he nervously shifted when silence was his only reply.

"I would strangle you, even." He added, trying to provoke a response.

Silence dominated the pair for a moment, and just as Changkyun was about to run out of the room for being too rude to the elder when they aren't even close, Hyungwon let out a chuckle.

The taller of the duo laughed hysterically, turning over such that his face was in the pillow as he slammed his fist against the mattress.

Watching the taller with amusement all over his face, Changkyun patiently waited for him to calm down. His patience ran out, however, when Hyungwon turned around, and said, "Do you think you are tall enough to even reach my neck?"

Forgetting how they weren't even that close for him to be rude, Changkyun let out a growl.

"You've stoop low enough for me to reach."

This caused the taller to double over in laughter.

"But seriously though, those people don't know what they're talking about."

Satisfied with the taller male's nod, Changkyun grinned.

That night, Changkyun learnt that once Hyungwon started laughing, he wouldn't stop.

(He also learnt that one should never sleep with Hyungwon because he hugs you so tight and won't let you go)

\-------------

"Hey! Wake up, or - hey, how come I wasn't invited for cuddling time?"

Changkyun woke up to a heavy weight jumping onto him, causing his breath to be forced out of his lung as his eyes sprung open.

"Minhyuk hyung, please get off, I can't breathe." The youngest male barely muttered out, his hands reaching for his throat in an exaggerated manner to seem like he's gasping for air.

"Because he take your breath away? Aww." Hyungwon snarkily asked..

"No, because he's literally crushing my lungs." The rapper replied just as monotonously, before quickening his pretentious act of gasping.

Minhyuk grinned at the show and shifted a little so all three of them were somehow comfortable. Maybe it was because Hyungwon transmitted the sleep disease to them, but they all ended up dozing off again.

Only to be woke up ten minutes later, by an angry Kihyun.

"Lee Minhyuk, I told you to go wake them up, not go sleep with them!" The shortest vocalist's sharp voice jolted all three of them awake.

While Changkyun rubbed his eyes and Hyungwon groaned, Minhyuk tried to push away the blame.

"But they were cuddling without me!" He protested, as a yawn escaped his mouth.

He came to his senses, though, when he finally noticed Kihyun standing at the doorway, arms crossed, a dark look on his face.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry."

"You better be." He growled.

"Changkyun, your Nubility members are here, I invited them to eat together."

The sentence caused the youngest to shoot up from his bed.

"Really?"

"Do I gain money from lying to you? No."

"You don't grow taller either." Hyungwon added, turning to his side as another whine escaped his lips.

It wasn't long before a loud shriek escaped the same lips, caused by Kihyun's smack.

******

"He acts cute to get what he wants. It's fun sometimes, but sometimes it's just annoying."

"Byunghwa hyung! How can you say-" 

"I'm not even surprised at that fact." Minhyuk actually cut Changkyun off.

"Of course! Here's another thing, he can be straight up clingy at times." Jeongwook added, much to the horror of the rapper.

"What? Aigoo!" Wonho actually looked at Changkyun in distaste and tsk-ed at him.

Changkyun stared, dumbfounded. He was actually being insulted by both parties. He knew something was weird the moment he stepped into the dining room and saw his ex members eating peacefully with his current members. It had been too good to be true.

\------

Changkyun paused. 

This was it.

Taehyuk had just questioned him again, just to confirm that he wanted to be with Nubility.

He honestly didn't know what to do, actually. Before him were ten sets of hopeful eyes, and both groups were really hoping for him to join them. To complete the seven-member group. Or the five-member group. It was up to him to make the decision, and being the one with such a life-changing decision was so stressful.

He thought he would repeat the same answer to the Nubility leader's question, and pack up to leave, like he was never here at all, to escape the nightmares from the survival show.

But there he was, hesitating as his gaze landed on six hopeful eyes.

He thought he had the answer after all. He could just leave and join Nu'bility like nothing happened, like it was the good old times.

He thought.

You just have to say a word, Changkyun. Just a simple 'yes' and you can be right by Nubility's side, just like before.

But it was at that moment, did he realize that he wasn't ready to leave, at all.

His mind flooded with memories over the weeks, from how horrible the members were to him, making sure that he knew he was the odd one out, never letting him join in to their conversations, to just a few days ago when Jooheon had chased after him all the way to the Han river and told him that he didn't hate him.

He remembered how Jooheon and all the other members apologized, some through words and some through actions. 

He remembered how he had dumped bubbles onto Wonho's head and how the elder had done the same back to him, and how Kihyun was so mad at them after seeing how messy the kitchen became.

He remembered how Shownu had protected them from Kihyun's grasp and how they all jammed out to EXO's growl.

He remembered how he had cuddled (though against his will) with Hyungwon and Minhyuk just half an hour ago.

He remembered Jooheon's words. "Stay. Please."

He remembered them all.

And somewhere deep in his heart, he wasn't ready to forget all these memories.

He was ready to create new ones.

And so he was thankful when his former members understood completely, though they were disappointed, without having him to say his answer out personally. They must have guessed it through his hesitation.

He was glad they still promised to be friends and keep in contact. He felt guilt well up in his heart at the sight of his former members' forced smiles but the guilt evaporated by a little, when he saw the big, heartfelt grins on his official members' faces.

Somehow, his members' bright beams was enough to make him smile.

He knew he wasn't going to regret his decision. 

\------

Changkyun was even more grateful when his former members took no offence to his decision and even become acquaintances with his members through the compliment of good food by Kihyun. 

Though he somewhat lost it when both groups started to talk bad about him right in front of him. 

"Oh my god, no, please stop. Someone help me." Changkyun covered his face with his hands.

"Changkyun hyung also has terrible mood swings. One second he's fine and bubbly, the second he's all quiet and moody." The Nu'bility maknae added.

"Hey, when have I - "

"You do." The Nubility members chorused, drowning out Changkyun's voice completely.

"Oh my god!" English slipped off the younger rapper's tongue as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"You guys are so annoyi-"

"I'M HOME!" Changkyun was glad for the disruption, and his eyes shone with gratitude when he realized who it was.

"Gunhee!" Jooheon shot up from his chair immediately, and was next to Gunhee in an instant.

"Here's your shirt. I took it to help you wash the other day, remember?" Gunhee, however, merely ignored Jooheon, as he took out the white clothing which belonged to Changkyun.

"Ah, yes. Thank you." Changkyun grinned as he took his fingers out of his hair and took the cloth from the elder rapper's hands.

"I think we need to leave, guys. The manager just texted me, asking us to go back to rehearse." The leader of Nubility stood up and dusted imaginary dust off his pants. 

"Don't worry, we'll still keep in contact." Jeongwook cast a glance to his ex member as he also stood up.

Changkyun nodded, once again feeling glad that his former members understood and didn't kick up a fuss.

"You can visit us anytime." Kihyun quickly told the group upon seeing the latter getting ready to leave.

"Your food is really good, I know Taehyuk hyung already said it but still." Byunghwa patted Kihyun on the back, earning Kihyun's earnest smile, before following Taehyuk out the door.

"Fighting!" Jongyeon gave Changkyun one last high-five before he too left out the door. 

"You better take care of yourself, or I will give any of your members permission to whoop you." Jeongwook threatened.

"We'll take good care of Changkyun, don't worry!" Jooheon called out at the already exiting Nubility members.

"Great, but don't feel pressured and just give the child a smack every once in a while when he starts to misbehave!"

"You talk like I'm a five year old getting sent to a child care!" Changkyun whined a little at the retreating Jeongwook, who stuck his tongue out at him.

When the door finally closed shut, Wonho commented, "I guess we don't have to worry about Changkyun leaving us anymore."

"You guys were worried?"

The other members immediately cast their gazes onto the floor and shuffled their feet.

"Well, a little. Just a little." 

Changkyun raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, fine. A lot." 

"Sooooo, will you forgive us for our horrible behavior and we'll face the future together as a family?" Minhyuk voiced the question everyone had and they all looked at the youngest in anticipation.

"I think..." For dramatic purposes, Changkyun paused as he looked around the room to ensure he had everyone's attention.

"That that is a great idea, if you would buy me ice cream."

"You're crazy." 

**********

As each day past and their debut date drew nearer, Changkyun finally learnt what it meant to fit in. 

He felt comfort in randomly leaning against Wonho for support whenever he felt drained of energy.

Or propping his head lazily on Shownu's shoulder because the elder's shoulders were at the perfect height.

Or leaning behind instinctively whenever Minhyuk back-hugged him because the vocalist was itching for skinship.

Or randomly getting an arm slung around his neck from Jooheon or Kihyun, and fitting his head onto their arms naturally

Or, feeling a hard elbow on his shoulder from the tallest male and smacking the same elbow away on reflex.

Through these actions that nobody talked about, the once unbreakable wall had been broken.

And it never was coming back, not when the events for the ninth episode of Deokspatch laid out to be this way.

\-------

It was awkward at first, and the youngest didn't know what to do.

Until Kihyun had pulled him into a corner and smiled earnestly. "Just act like how you always do at home, with us."

Changkyun hadn't understood what the vocalist meant, until he was seated beside the same vocalist at the very back of the vehicle, slowly letting go of the tension in the body when the song came on. 

It started from silently jamming to the music, and he didn't know how and when, but he found himself clapping his hands and laughing along with everyone else at the joke directed at Shownu.

"This is probably his happiest face." Minhyuk had commented, pointing his finger at the eldest's slight grin, earning the laughter of everyone else.

Changkyun grinned at the vocalist beside him in gratitude, eyes shining brighter than ever.

And when Shownu belted out a lyric from the song, much to the delight of everyone, the younger rapper had clapped his hands in joy, his eyes never leaving the shortest vocalist.

\-----

When the vehicle finally reached their destination, the beach, Changkyun couldn't help but laugh at the sight of his silly hyungs running excitedly towards the sea. 

The grin on his face widened when Wonho frantically ran back to shore to avoid getting his shoes wet. Because Wonho was that adorable (and Changkyun was feeling extra clingy), Changkyun had ran towards him, back-hugging the elder as they both let out happy chuckles.

When everyone finally calmed down (more like the PD had screamed and told them to gather before the sunrise but even that didn't cause their excitement to inch down), they stood before the sunrise, taking in the extremely beautiful sight before them. 

Well, at least they tried to take in as much as they could for the sun had pretty much risen up already by the time they finished running about.

"Ugh, we came that far!" Minhyuk had stomped on the sand in anger, causing some sand particles to fly onto Wonho's shoes and the latter to glare at Minhyuk.

"Let's just make wishes, shall we?"

"Alright, let's do that."

They all looked at the eldest expectantly.

"I wish to be a billionaire!"

"Was that even korean?" The shortest vocalist had asked, for the wind had caused mishearing of the eldest's words.

"He wants to be a billionaire." Changkyun repeated, slightly smiling.

"Oh, I thought he said he was hungry." Minhyuk's sentence amused himself as he grinned.

"I want to become hungry!" he continued jokingly.

One after another, they began shouting out their wishes.

"Two billion!"

"Let's debut and perform in the States!"

"Let our families be healthy! I want to debut too!"

"I want the Rookie award within a year of debuting!"

"I want the Grand prize! Best actor award!"

When it was finally the maknae's turn, he yelled the first thing that came to his mind.

"Let's all stay healthy!" 

After a moment's awkward silence, he added another line.

"Fighting."

This earned the laughter of others while Wonho exclaimed, "yea, fighting!"

Changkyun grinned, upon realizing he had made them laugh. That is, until Shownu made a comment about the clouds.

"Hey maknae, do something about those clouds!"

Feeling the gaze of Kihyun on him as well as the laughter the same vocalist let out, Changkyun blew at the clouds.

To everyone's amazement, the clouds really looked like it was opening up.

\------------

"Give me that." Changkyun had bravely said, extending his hands to the short vocalist who had advised him to be himself.

They were having the age flip game and Changkyun felt immortal. 

Taking a sip of what was originally Shownu's drink, he placed it back onto the table with a smile upon seeing everyone's face light up with laughter at his gesture.

"How old are you, Shownu?" Minhyuk had asked, earning the giggles of the others.

"I'm 24 this year."

"Ah, so young. What about you, Wonho?"

"I'm 24 too."

"What a kid." 

Gaining confidence from the previous successful joke, Changkyun interrupted. 

"And you?" 

"I turned 23 this year." 

"Good times, good times." Changkyun instinctively replied, causing everyone else to explode into laughter.

Changkyun thought he would never be able to fit in with this group of people. But look at him now.

His wish had also came true. He was not only comfortable with just one member, but every other member of the group.

He also won't be running away, scared of those people who thought he was worthless.

Because he had six other people, his members, by his side, protecting him and the same six guys knew he wasn't like what those people said he was.

And that was enough.

For those who mattered to him, believed him.

**********


	2. Extra Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff, so much fluff, enjoy!

1) Shownu really didn't know what to do, really. He was sitting on the sofa, just minding his own business and watching the television when he felt a bite on his arm.

He winced, for he wasn't the type to overreact and instead endured the tiniest tinge of pain on his left arm as he tried to focus on the flat screen.

He decided it was too much, when five whole minutes had passed and the the set of teeth was still on his arm.

"Changkyun, I think you need a reminder that my arm isn't meat."

"But hyung, it's so soft!"

The younger whined, before sinking his teeth back into Shownu's arms.

Shownu sighed.

"I just wanted to watch television peacefully."

(Changkyun finally felt bad after an entire hour and stuck a teddy bear sticker on the bite mark, much to Shownu's utter disbelief.)

\--

2) Wonho hated himself for falling for those puppy like eyes again.

"Are you sure you want ice cream? It's so cold out!" Wonho asked the younger. Only to regret it moments later, when Changkyun started singing.

Aloud.

Off key.

"The cold never bothered me anyway~"

"No, please don't do this to me."

"Let it go!"

"Changkyu-" Wonho tried to stop Changkyun from belting out more lyrics, despite his laughter.

"Let it go!"

"You better sto-"

"Can't hold it back anymore!"

They, or rather Changkyun, were attracting lots of attention from the public as they paraded down the streets.

"You're so nois-"

"Let it go!"

"Okay, okay! I'll buy the ice cream! Oh my gosh."

Changkyun smiled victoriously at the elder. 

(He might also have smeared the vanilla ice cream right onto Wonho's nose but got away with it with his puppy like eyes.)

(Again.)

\--

3) Minhyuk gleefully approached the youngest member who was lying on the couch, watching television. 

"Cuddling time!" He yelled before jumping right on top of the younger male.

"Oomf!" 

"You're so cuddly!"

"Hyung, I can't see the screen!"

"You're so cute!" If it was possible, Minhyuk had tightened his grip on the younger, as he buried his head forcefully into the crook of Changkyun's neck.

"I know, but I don't think wanting to die by suffocation is in my wishlist for Christmas this year."

"You mean, I take your breath away? Aww!"

"Have you thought of the possibility that you're literally crushing me to death?"

"Please, I'm as light as a feather."

Changkyun almost choked.

"Hyung, you're as heavy as ten elephants plus a twenty storey building."

"Isn't that light?" Minhyuk replied, nuzzling his nose against the younger's skin.

Changkyun sighed. There was no winning against the ball of energy named Minhyuk.

\--

4) Kihyun smiled at the younger beside him, slowly but surely chopping up the carrots. The youngest was always the only one who was efficient in helping him, because:

A) Shownu tries to help every time but doesn't end up doing anything except watching from the corner and supplying him stuff

B) Wonho and Minhyuk end up making a huge mess and making things even harder for the shortest male (Minhyuk also believes in 'the more the merrier', and doubles the amount of ingredient for everything) 

C) Jooheon's aegyo make Kihyun lose concentration (and is probably the reason why dinner was extremely salty one night) 

D) Hyungwon never offered to help.

"What can I do next, hyung?" Changkyun looked up from the cubes of carrots into Kihyun's eyes earnestly.

"Er, crack the egg and make an omelette."

"Can I add cheese in it?" 

"Sure." Kihyun replied, though a part of him was reluctant about adding such an unhealthy ingredient in.

"Yes!" 

Kihyun chuckled slightly at the rapper who exclaimed in joy, before tending to his own kimchi stew. He barely added the cubes of carrots in before he heard the rapper shriek.

"MY EGGS!"

"What happened?" Kihyun was next to Changkyun in an instant.

"THEY WON'T FLIP!" Changkyun cried out, shifting his position so Kihyun could take over.

"Let me help."

Kihyun reached for the pan from Changkyun, taking charge and trying to flip it. When it didn't work, he tried to detach the egg from the pan by using the chopsticks but still failed.

Not wanting to be met with Changkyun's disappointed eyes, his mind quickly searched for an solution.

"How about if I make it into scrambled eggs?"

"Woah, really? You can do that?" 

Kihyun grinned, proud to be the one causing the younger's amazement.

"Of course."

Changkyun watched in amazement and respect at the vocalist who turned the once disastrous eggs into scrambled ones.

Kihyun felt accomplished at the feeling of the younger watching him intently, until he saw a pout on the younger's lips from the corner of his eyes.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"There's no cheese!"

\--

5) Hyungwon usually hated it when someone disturbed his sleep. The youngest, though, was an exception. Maybe because the youngest was like a comfortable bolster for him. And so, he made no sounds of disapproval when he felt a familiar head popping up beside him on his couch.

Instead, he tugged the younger closer to him, for he knew it had been rare for Changkyun to feel this clingy these days. He also instinctively wrapper his long legs around the smaller form and sighed in content.

Changkyun didn't react negatively to his actions either, and they both fell asleep pretty soon, wrapped around each other.

It was perfect, really, until an hour later.

"Hyung, this is a really good moment and all, but I need to pee."

When he received no reaction from the elder, he slowly turned around (which was difficult considering Hyungwon's hands wrapped tightly around him), only to be met with Hyungwon's soft breathing. 

And a tiny snore.

Changkyun sighed. He would love to stare at the visual's face but he really needed to go.

"Hyung?"

poke

"Maknae, I suggest you don't try that because you know how he gets when someone disturbs him from his beauty sleep."

The eldest wasn't helping. In fact, no one was.

The members walked in and out of the living room, some smirking at the duo (Wonho and Kihyun), others being thrilled at the clingy scene (Jooheon and Minhyuk).

Changkyun almost lost it when Minhyuk began snapping pictures of them.

"Minhyuk hyung, I appreciate the paparazzi but I would prefer if you could lend some help?"

"I would love to help, but I don't want the tall mantis to kill me, so no."

"Jooheon hyung?"

"Oh! That picture is adorable! Post it, Minhyuk hyung!"

"What? No, I will personally whoop your ass if you - " Changkyun tried to hit the duo but he was held back by Hyungwon's long arms.

"Done!"

Changkyun felt like serving Minhyuk a plate full of cucumbers right there and then.

"By the way, why do you start to sound like Kihyun hyung? It's bad." Jooheon commented.

"I think Kihyun hyung corrupted the child."

"I'm not a child!"

"That's exactly what a child would say." Wonho called out as he passed by again.

"Hyung! Help me?" Changkyun struggled to look at Wonho from his position.

"Will you cook me ramen?"

Changkyun had never felt so relieved when Hyungwon finally let out a groan at the noise. 

"Eh, Hyungwon, you wake up at the wrong time! I could have gotten myself a free bowl of ramen." Wonho grumbled before entering the bathroom.

"Thank god!" Changkyun shoved Hyungwon's hands away immediately when Hyungwon started to stretch his long body.

The other members watched in amusement as the youngest male made a dash towards the nearest bathroom.

"Ah, Wonho hyung!" He cried out, before making another mad dash towards the other bathroom.

(Minutes later, Kihyun was startled to find a sulking Changkyun seated right outside the bathroom door when he was done showering.)

\--

6) Jooheon sighed. 

Things weren't working out. At all.

The pen in his hand paused for the umpteenth time and a frown slowly made his way on the rapper's face.

Another sigh escaped his mouth before he scrunched up the fifth piece of paper and flung it away. 

The ball of paper bounced and landed right at the doorway, exactly when the door opened and a set of feet stepped into the room.

Changkyun picked up the piece of paper and opened it. When his gaze landed on the paper, he smiled.

"Having troubles writing again, hyung?"

Jooheon spun around in his chair, relief flooding his mind when he took in the presence of the younger male.

"Yea, I can't seem to think of anything."

"Do you need help? I mean, you might need the thinking of the younger generation."

"You're only a year younger than me!"

"That's not the point."

Changkyun raised the paper to read what Jooheon had while making his way towards the elder with small steps.

"I think this is pretty useful?"

"Really?"

"Yes."

"But I don't know how to add on to it."

"I just like you, there's no reason, I don't know why." Changkyun mumbled the words already on the crumpled piece of paper while he dragged another chair to sit beside Jooheon.

"Maybe the next line could be another explanation sort of thing? Like, 'I don't fall in love whenever I like'?" Changkyun suggests, hopeful eyes glancing at the elder.

"Oh! Maybe, 'I'm not a guy who just picks a time and starts falling in love'? It'll fit the beat I'm thinking." Jooheon looks back at the younger, grinning then.

The duo continued working, giving suggestions and building onto each other's ideas, until it was getting late and the younger male began to yawn.

"Just go to sleep. I'll finish this up."

"You sure? I could stay here, if you want."

"Nah, it's fine. The song is almost done anyway."

Jooheon barely managed to convince the younger, dragging the younger to his bed. Within seconds, the younger rapper had already drifted off to sleep. Jooheon grinned at the sleeping figure, before retreating back to his desk.

He continued writing the lyrics, every once and then looking back at the younger.

One love, I only knew myself back then.

Two love, I only knew myself

Three love, but now I'm sorry

One love

****************

There were times when Changkyun retreated back to his shell. It was as if they were back to the No. MERCY era, where the youngest was constantly left out. All the other members would try to bring him out of the shell, try to remind the youngest that he was one of them, but sometimes it wouldn't work.

Not when the youngest didn't feel like replying to his hyungs, not when the youngest wasn't in the mood to cuddle, not when the youngest just wanted to be alone.

It was scary for his hyungs at first. After all, who knows what could be going on in that kid's mind? But then, the youngest would always scrunched up his nose after a while. And say something weird, like "Kihyun hyung, why are crocodiles green?"

Kihyun had almost smacked him that day.

However, things were different now. It had been hours since the youngest had became quiet, but the scrunching of nose had yet to come. Nor did he initiate any eye contact with any of the members since the beginning of their dance practice.

Minhyuk had tried to be extra clingy to the youngest, but Changkyun had always shrugged off his hugs and walked the other direction.

Jooheon was surprised when he rested his head on the younger male's shoulder and Changkyun had walked away wordlessly, causing Jooheon to fall.

But the fall had hurt less than the pain he felt when Changkyun wouldn't even look at him.

The other members were shocked too, when they saw how Changkyun pushed Jooheon away. The rapper line had been closer than ever, ever since they began to write lyrics together.

They eyed the youngest nervously, watching the maknae reach for the sound system to restart the music.

"Changkyun, are you sure? We practiced for an hour already, I think we need a break." Wonho called out cautiously.

The members made their way to their positions silently when the youngest made no reply.

They all continued to eye each other and the youngest through the mirror while dancing for what seemed like the hundredth time, not knowing what to do and just going along with the flow.

The concern changed to panic when the youngest suddenly stopped dancing midway, his hands reaching for his head and a groan escaping him.

"Changkyun, what's wrong?" Kihyun was next to him in an instant, giving the youngest support as he slowly brought Changkyun to lean against the mirror.

Even then, Changkyun tried to weakly push Kihyun away.

Kihyun barely managed to bring his hands against the younger male's forehead and hissed at the temperature.

"Hey, you're burning up!"

"I'm fine." Changkyun tried to swat Kihyun's hands away.

"No, you're not! Shownu hyung, help me get this boy back home."

Changkyun knew he was in no position to argue when he let out a soft sneeze.

Not wanting to hear Kihyun's nagging, he silently let himself be piggy-backed by the eldest back to the dorm. 

\------

The members all followed them back to the dorm, too worried about the youngest to be in the mood to practice more. 

Shownu laid Changkyun down onto the bed, while Kihyun took charge from then.

"Wonho hyung, pass me some medicine for cold and fever from your bag." 

"Okay."

"Hyungwon, change the child into new, dry clothes."

"Sure."

"Jooheon, go and wet some towels with cold water and bring it here."

"Yes."

"Minhyuk, go bring the fever patch from the fridge, The bottom part of the fridge."

"Jeez, I know where it is!"

"Shownu hyung, well, you can help shift Changkyun so Hyungwon could get the clothes off him since he looks like he's having a hard time."

"I'm...not." Hyungwon barely puffed out as he hardly managed to bring the youngest into a sitting position.

Changkyun who had been cooperating all along, gasped in alarm when Hyungwon tried to tug his clothes off.

"I can do it myself." He weakly protested.

"Sure, and I hate sleeping." Hyungwon snorted, before tugging at the clothes more roughly. This time, the younger male allowed him, though he was hesitant.

"Hold on." Kihyun halted Hyungwon who was about to put a white shirt onto Changkyun. The shorter male took a dry towel and began to wipe the sweat off Changkyun's body, causing Changkyun to let out a sigh at the comfort.

"Kihyun! Which part of the fridge again?" Kihyun sighed at Minhyuk's cry from the kitchen. 

With a few hand gestures, Shownu was sent to help Minhyuk.

"I'm fine, I can take care of myself." Changkyun once again tried to convince the short vocalist.

"Yes, and you're doing a really great job, aren't you?." Kihyun replied sarcastically. "But seriously though, if you ever feel unwell again, you can tell any one of us and we'll take care of you, okay?"

"But I can take care of myself just fine." The rapper responded stubbornly, before sighing. "This is why I didn't want to let you all know I was sick. Y'all would be worried and everything."

"Hey, you're our member, It's our duty to worry for you, anyway." The tallest interrupted.

Changkyun's heart soared at his words and he tried to suppress the grin blossoming on his face.

"I think that was the most touching sentence I've ever heard Hyungwon say." Kihyun said jokingly, grinning while Hyungwon glared at him.

Admitting defeat, the youngest male silently let Hyungwon lie him down gently back onto the bed just as the rest came parading in, his smile never leaving his face.

The members watched as Kihyun took care of the younger - wiping him again gently with a cold towel, putting the fever patch on, feeding the younger the medicine from Wonho.

Changkyun was silently enjoying the attention he was getting, though he would never admit it.

"Lee Minhyuk! No cuddling with Changkyun! Do you want to get sick too?"

Kihyun practically yelled at the ball of sunshine named Minhyuk about to jump onto Changkyun.

"Go outside, we'll let Changkyun sleep." Kihyun instructed, his steady gaze never leaving Changkyun, as he ignored the whine the recently blonde haired let out.

Kihyun waited for everyone else to leave, before tucking Changkyun into the blanket. He turned, about to leave and join the rest outside when Changkyun softly gripped his sleeve. It was a weak attempt, but enough to make the vocalist halt in his steps.

"Can you stay? I'm cold"

A smile slowly made its way onto the vocalist's face.

Kihyun dragged a chair over and sat down, his hands wrapped around the younger's hand, giving the younger warmth not just from his body heat, but from his affection too.

(A few hours later, Jooheon peeked into the room, out of curiosity as to why Minhyuk had scowled and stomped off after looking into the room, only to be met with the scene of Kihyun asleep next to the maknae.)

(Jooheon failed to notice the two hands still entwined within each other, the smaller one tightened its grip, as a form of 'thank you'. )

(The vocalist responded by squeezing the younger's hands back.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't write fluff.
> 
> I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

**Author's Note:**

> YOU ACTUALLY READ THROUGH ALL THIS RUBBISH, I'M IMPRESSED
> 
> anyways, thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! the next part will be a sorta additional chapters kinda thing, i hope you like that as well! shalom!!


End file.
